Having said all the wonderful things about how rewarding interactions with women can be, it would be incomplete if there is no word about the possibility of being rejected. There is no denying that there is always a 50% probability if being rejected by a woman that you approach but if you decide that you want to avoid talking to women altogether for fear of being rejected, then you’ll only end up feeling frustrated, depressed, lonely and angry with women in general.
Or you can decide to take your chances anyway and work at ways to minimizing your risk for rejection. How you handle rejection is going to shape your interaction with women. Therefore the faster you learn how to handle rejection, the more success you are going to experience with women.
If you look at it microscopically, you are actually opening yourself up for rejection in your interaction with women every step of the way. So, you not only risk rejection when you approach her, you are setting yourself up for rejection every milestone you take with her; from asking her out on a first date to kissing her for the very first time.
Therefore if she does not reject you the first time, it does not mean that in the subsequent interactions, you will not be rejected either. With a woman, you are constantly taking risk! It’s just a matter of a bigger or smaller risk and how you handle the outcome of the risk.
So, do you think that you should get worked up every time you get rejected? If every guy gets worked up every time they get rejected, I can vouch that 90% or more of your male colleagues will come to work with sullen faces everyday. Some may even turn suicidal if this happens more than five times a week! But you’ve never read in the papers that some guy hang himself or jumped of the cliff because he was constantly being rejected by women, have you ?
How to Handle Rejection
The truth is… men get rejected all the time so it’s no big deal! This happens to even the most successful seducers/playboy. The difference between a guy who is successful with woman and one who perennially fails is this:
A guy, who constantly fails with women, berates himself for the failure. Takes the rejection very personally and keeps on reminding himself day in day out of the rejection and keeps replaying the whole rejection scene in his head over and over again. He is not only relieving the emotional pain every time he replays the rejection scene in his head, he is amplifying it.
He programs his own mind to believe that he is nobody; someone who is not worthy to be loved, a person who is destined to live his life all alone and unwanted. Guys like this usually have low self-esteem and let women walk all over him. The biggest problem for guys like that is that they tend to put women that they have interest in on a high pedestal and if she rejects him, his world comes crashing down. The experience is so bad that if often takes them a while to recover, and go out and talk to women again.
If it is not bad enough that he keeps on blaming himself for the rejection. He now has to lock himself up in his room because of the humiliation and continue to wallow in self pity. He thinks of nothing else but the rejection.
On the other hand, successful seducers take rejection in their stride. They understand that they won’t succeed every time and that their failures are not necessary of their own doing either. They know that talking to women like dating is all a numbers game. A rejection from one woman is not the end of the world as that particular woman is not his only hope.
What he will do in terms of handling the rejection is rationalized that she is probably having a bad day or she could already be in a relationship therefore has no interest in starting another. Notice how he does NOT belittle himself by taking the blame for the rejection.
Just like the guy who constantly fails, successful men also comes up with an explanation for every rejection he encounters BUT the difference is men who are successful comes up with explanation which does not implicate them in the rejection. This is extremely important since you will never know the real reason you were rejected so why blame yourself when chances are you were not the reason in the first place.
Don’t beat yourself up and put yourself in mental agony over things that you have no control over and for reasons that are unknown to you. Make up some positive explanation and SPARE yourself the emotional turmoil !
So, what do guys who are successful with women do once they’ve come up with reasoning for the cause of the rejection? They are up and about in no time. They move on with their life and think of something else to do or places to go. Guys like that refocus their energy to some other activity that is useful.
Redirecting your attention is useful as it helps to take your mind of the rejection and before you know it, it is history! So, here’s what you should do, get rid of the loser’s mindset and program yourself to think like all the guys who have been successful with women.
If they can do it, so can you !