Women we’ve surveyed tell us that when they first get in contact with a guy via voice mail, they are mostly trying to find out how the sound of the guy’s voice makes them feel. Put yourself in her position: She’s thinking, “Sure, the guy is saying things, but what does he look like? And how does his voice make me feel? Does he sound scary? Does he sound sad? Or does he sound full of life, awake, and into things?”
So there are two things you have to think about. First, what you say. Second, how you sound saying it.
First, what you say. You might start off with something like:
“Hi there! I’m glad you wanted me to call. My name is [first name]. You are probably most curious just to hear the sound of my voice, and to see how it makes you feel–sort of a ‘does this guy sound cool?’ situation. So, well, here I am; I hope you like the sound of me, and
that you feel good hearing my voice. I’d be very interested in hearing yours!”
Then you can basically just re-say some of the stuff you said in your personals ad, and perhaps expand upon it a BIT. The biggest mistake you can make here is to go on for three, four, or five minutes about yourself. Remember, at the beginning, most women are not interested in you–they are interested in how you make them feel. So you want to leave a lot to the imagination.
Describe yourself physically, and say a few things about what you are into, or mention what you do for a living–whatever you think will be most likely to capture her imagination. It’s a good idea to mention any “special features” you have. If you are tall, say so. If you are at all attractive or fit, say so, by saying something like “People tell me I’m attractive, and I pay attention to how I look” or “I work out regularly and keep myself fit.” If you are rich, you might say, “I’ve been lucky enough to have abundant money in my life, so that has given me some freedom to travel that I have really appreciated.”
The bottom line is this, though: the shorter the better–You really don’t have to go on for very long.
Second, how you sound saying it: Of course, if this going to work, your voice has to sound good. If your voice sounds like a rusty saw, upset, angry, sad, or is unpleasant to listen to, then you have some work to do.
You can improve the sound of your voice, and it’s worth doing if your voice doesn’t sound as nice as it could. Do some deep breathing before calling, and try warming up your voice by taking a deep breath, and making a low “ahhhh” sound as you exhale (do this BEFORE calling her, not WHILE calling her. Most women do not consider deep breathing and moans to be very seductive on the first phone call. Go figure.).
Remember to breath fully while you speak, and smile as you leave the message. Some of our students have good luck leaving messages right after they work out, because that’s when their voices sound strongest, fullest and most vibrant. There may be some other time of the day when
you feel most vibrant. Leave your message then.
At the end of your message, remember to make an invitation to her: “If this sounds interesting to you, please contact me,” and tell her how. Leave both your phone number and your email address, so she can contact you even if she’s afraid to call.
And finally, don’t worry about it. You are better off leaving a sincere if stammering message than a practiced but artificial-sounding one. Go over what you might say, then just call, talk, and don’t worry about it.
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Ron Louis and David Copeland are dating coaches and authors of the best selling “How to Succeed with Women” and the creators of Seduction Techniques |
