Dear Ron and David,

I was out dancing the other night and I met a very hot girl. We had fun dancing together, though she also danced with other guys, and I hung out with her and some other people after the bar closed.

My only problem with her is that she’s mostly deaf. I mean, it’s not a problem that she’s mostly deaf, I still like her, and would still like to date her. It’s just that I have a question: In view of the fact that she can hardly hear, should I change anything about how I go about seducing her ? Much of my normal wit and charm seems lost on her, as she doesn’t hear it. Yet she seems to like me, she just doesn’t seem to want to talk a lot. What should I do ?



Hi J.,

There are challenges in dating all women, and hearing impaired women are challenging, too. Here are some factors that are probably confounding you in your quest to get to know this girl better :

She looks at you very intently, but you can’t tell–is that because she is interested in you, or because she is reading your lips?

She probably had to learn to speak without being able to hear herself, so she might not have the subtly of vocal inflections that other women have. This makes it harder for you to judge her interest, warmth, upset, or whatever by her tone of voice.

Much of seduction, the way we teach it, involves conversation. However, conversation may not be a hearing-impaired woman preferred way of connecting with people. If she can’t hear your charming and witty remarks, she won’t be seduced. That can also be confusing.

The “Romantic Moves” don’t seem to work with her. Some of the romantic moves won’t work–whispering will probably be lost on her, for instance. Holding eye contact “too long” might also be lost on someone who is used to intently focusing on someone else’s face in order to read their lips.

She also might be used to being more isolated, which may make it harder to “get through her shell.”

The upshot of all of this is that you will probably feel more baffled and ‘in the dark’ with this woman than you might with some other women. It will be harder to tell how much she likes you, and how interested she is.

There are two things we would suggest :

First, use email with her. She’s seen you, she’s danced with you, and she’s had some fun with you, but conversation has been difficult. Try emailing her, and treat the interaction like an online seduction (for more on this, see our booklet “The Internet Seduction Toolkit“. Send her romantic poetry, and let your conversations and priming date happen online.

Second, after you’ve communicated with her via email, sent romantic poetry, gotten to know her a bit, and showed your romantic interest, then take her on a date that gives you both something to experience other than talking to each other. Take her to a flower show, where you can both smell the flowers, or go on a walk in the arboretum, or go dancing again, just you and her. Give her an experience, then try the “first kiss tests,” and see where it goes from there.

Best of luck !
Ron Louis and David Copeland



Ron Louis and David Copeland are dating coaches and authors of the best selling “How to Succeed with Women” and the creators of  Seduction Techniques