Dating / Relationship Question and Answer

6 June 2001

How to Give a Great Massage

Men – do you want a great way to get her
“ready and receptive”? Learn to give a great massage!

Touching her with strength and finesse says so many things about
you – like you’re going to spend some time on her – you’re not
going to just get in, get off and bolt. Not only will a great
massage relax her, but it will help her get in the mood for
more.If you want to be the guy she has to see again – give a
great massage.

Prepare the Area

You want to be in a private, quite place with you give a sensual
massage. Make sure that the phone is off the hook, and that
you’re not going to be bothered by the door, kids, animals, etc.
Select some soothing music and turn off the lights except for
lighting some candles – preferably scented. What, you don’t have
these at your place? This might be a good time to invest in a
“Massage Kit”.

You’re also going to need a couple of sheets – one to cover your
work area, (you don’t want massage oil staining your couch!),
and another to cover her. If she feels “exposed” or cold she
isn’t going to relax and let you, ah, work – yeah work! So, as
you work, uncover only the area you want to massage. Then, cover
it again to keep the area warm. As you massage the skin, blood
flows into that area. This blood causes the area to redden and
to warm. You don’t want this to turn to chill, so be sure to
cover your finished areas.

Finally, you should also have some water available. Many people
feel thirsty after a massage. This is because working muscles
causes all sorts of chemicals to be released into the body.

Massage Methods

You’ve probably heard of all types of massage techniques –
Shiatsu, Swedish, Rolfing, etc., are all different types of
massage with different goals. Don’t worry about all of this. You
don’t need to focus on the type of massage – only the goal. Your
goal should be to sooth and relax your er, victim!

In the next sections, we’ll explore this in greater detail. When
you give a massage keep in mind the following points:

1) Massage muscle – not skin, bone or organs
2) Work large muscle groups
3) Use firm, even pressure, not hard, deep pressure
4) Stay away from overly hard or overly soft areas of the body – unless she specifically asks
5) Always use a lubricant (see below)

6) Know when to quit

Now, let’s explore each of these points:

Massage Muscle, Not Skin

Try this: rub your fingers gently over the skin of your arm. Now,
press harder and move the skin without dragging your fingers
across it. This is the difference between caressing and a
massage. Remember that massages are for muscles below the skin –
not for the skin itself.

You want a deep, penetrating effect – not something superficial.
This is because the nerves in the skin tire very quickly.
Further, many people are ticklish – not just on their feet, but
all over their bodies! You want a massage to be relaxing and
focused – not an irritant!

As well, you want to stay away from bones. By pressing hard on
the skin just over a bone, you’re going to cause pain – not
pleasure (well, to some, pain IS pleasure – but that’s another
article!) Unless you know your human anatomy you’re probably not
going to know where your woman’s bones are; so, before you begin
rubbing an area, make sure that the tissue below the skin is
soft. In fact, use the relatively softness to determine how hard
to press.

For example, press your fingers into your relaxed stomach. This
softness tells you that there are no bones below your fingers –
only organs. You don’t want to press into an area like this very
hard. On the other hand, when you press your fingers into your
thigh, you can feel how firm the tissue feels here. This is
because of the underlying bone.

When you’re massaging a woman’s back, shoulders, legs or arms,
look for this firmness as a good place to work.

Work on Large Muscle

There are only a few of them in the body – mostly in the neck,
back, shoulders and legs. By concentrating on the large muscle
groups, not only is your massage more efficient – you are
getting the largest source of body tension – but you’re also
preventing damage.

On either side of the spine are large muscle groups (called
“Latissimus Dorsi” if you care to know). These are the long,
strong muscles that keep you standing up – and are great places
to work. Again, you have to be careful here, because just
underneath these muscles are the ribs – and you know how
ticklish some people are here!

Use Firm, Even Pressure

Pressure that is too light or inconsistent (light, heavy and
light again), can be as uncomfortable as too much pressure. Be
sure to use an even amount – not too hard, and not too light
when giving a massage. In fact, it is better to start out
somewhat lightly and ask if she wants more. Gently increase your
strength until she indicates that it is enough.

Use a Lubricant

You should never try anything but the most minor of massages
without lubricating the skin. For example, if you want to rub
her shoulders that’s one thing. If you’re going to give a
skin-to-skin massage, always use a lubricant. Lubes help to both
prepare the skin and to protect it.

Don’t use Vaseline or Wesson oil to massage her – you want the
lubricant to be absorbed by the skin. You should also stay away
from lubes that are absorbed too quickly like hand lotions. Why
not pick up lightly scented massage oil – you’ll definitely use

Just Follow the Numbers

Ok, so how do you progress? First, your lady should be undressed
(oh – you dog you!) and lying on her stomach. Make sure her hair
is out of the way of your “work area”. Next, pick up the
lubricant or oil you have selected and squeeze some onto your
palm. Don’t drip it directly on her skin – it may be cold. You
can rub your hands together to warm both the oil and your skin.
Even on a hot evening, try to make sure you’re your hands warmer
than the air. This difference helps remind her to relax.

Next follow these steps:

1) Start with her shoulders
Grab the muscles mid-way between
her the curve of her shoulder and her neck with both hands
(gently!) Knead these muscles and gently pull them toward you.
This is a great place to start as most people carry a lot of
tension here.

2) Work across her shoulders to her neck Use your thumbs and
the tips of your fingers to work from these muscles across and
down her upper back. Be sure to watch that your nails don’t dig
into her skin!

3) Down her arms to her hands With both hands cupped on the
curve where her shoulders turn into her arms, gently lift her
shoulders a few times to stretch the muscles in front. Work down
each arm separately finding the muscle groups in the front and
back and kneading them gently. When you get to her hands, use
your thumbs to work her palms. Don’t forget the other arm!

4) Mid-back
Now, return to her upper back and work downwards
to her mid-back. This is another area many people store tension.
Use your thumbs and fingertips to work from the center out and
to push upward.

5) Lower-back
Continue to work down her back to her hips and
just above her ass. Again, another tension-storage area!

6) Upper thighs
Working the muscles of her upper thighs is a
great place to spend some time (if she’ll allow this!) After
you’ve worked the back of her legs and down her calves (next),
you can have her turn over to work the fronts.

7) Calves
The calves are very strong muscles and get a workout
everyday. These are great places to spend some time kneading
each one separately with both hands.

Remember, once you start the massage, her skin will absorb the
oil or lotion you applied to your hands. So, continue to re-lube
regularly. Also, humans are “bilateral” – that is we have a
balance between the right and left. Don’t neglect one side for
the other – keep things balanced.

The “Master’s” Massage

Ready to graduate? Learn to give a great foot massage!

When you’re massaging someone’s feet, you’ve got to be careful,
as many women are ticklish here. If you drag your fingers over
the feet lightly, she’s liable to flinch – negating the work
you’ve already done in getting her relaxed. When you work the
feet remember that there are many areas – each with their own
needs. So, start with the heel. Firmly grab her heel and push it
up toward her leg, pull it down and work it side to side. The
heel contains a number of very small, very strong muscles.

Next, work your thumbs on the under side (called the “plantar”
side) of her foot (in general, or unless she asks, avoid the top
of the feet). Again, use deep slow pressure with the tips of
your thumbs – don’t do it too gently or it’s going to feel like
you’re tickling her. Work the balls of her feet and in between
her toes. Also, pull on each toe for about 10 seconds – don’t
jerk, just give a smooth, strong tug.

In general the feet of even small women are very strong. They can
take a much more intense massage than the rest of her, but be
sure to watch her reactions. Further, ask her what she likes,
and follow her directions!

The Ending – The

Once you’ve completed the massage, get a soft towel to wipe her
body down. This is just to remove any remaining lotion or oil,
and to let her know that the massage is over.

What’s That – She’s

Actually, professional massage therapists use sleep or even
drooling as a sign they’ve done their job well. Don’t take it as
an insult – just realize she’s really into what you’re