Dating / Relationship Question and Answer

16 May 2001

Creating A Void To Be Filled

Dear Sir,

I have a huge problem with my girlfriend. I really like her, but
I don’t feel love. I am afraid that, at age 25 I will never be
in love again unless I brake up with her.

I don’t enjoy sex with her – I’m always thinking that, “Oh, God I
have to have sex with her tonight!” I feel sexual desire towards
other women, but not with her. We have sex once a week. Further,
she doesn’t shave, and I just can’t seem to get myself to talk
to her about it.

The other issue is concerning partying. I don’t like going out
with her to parties. I enjoy the evening with my friends, but
when she is with me I feel stressed, and I can’t be myself. This
is terrible. And we (or rather I) don’t talk about
it. I need some help!

Thank you and best

Let’s see here: you don’t enjoy sex with her, you’re afraid
to talk to her about things you want (like her shaving),
you don’t like to be seen with her at parties – what
the hell are you doing with her in the first

Many times, we want something new in our lives, but we’re afraid
of losing something we currently have; “a bird in the hand is worth
two in the bush” as the saying goes. Let me tell you a little secret
of life and love: the “Law of Vacuum”. 

There are many “natural laws” in the universe. Gravity is one of
them. You can stand on a roof and proclaim that you don’t believe in
gravity; but, as soon as you step off, you’re going to get a healthy
dose of it! Like gravity, the sun will rise tomorrow, you’re going
to get another paper-cut someday, and someone will release another
gawd-awful Robin Williams movie – all whether you like it or

One more of these “Immutable Laws of the Universe” is the “Law of
Vacuum” which states, “Nature abhors a vacuum; and, if possible,
will fill it.” What does this mean? It means that nature has a way
of filling its voids. Whenever nature detects a vacuum, it attempts
to fill it with something. However, if no vacuum exists, no filling
is needed and therefore nature goes off to perform some other task
like cleaning out a trailor-park with a tornado. 

Take a look at your closet. Do you have clothes you haven’t worn
for over a year? Get rid of them! Give them away to charity or
simply toss them. What about your garage? Is it full of things you
don’t need? Dump them! How about your personal growth? Does it look
more like a 3-day old beard? You’re probably filling it with
television, rather than making it open and available to be filled
with other, more worthwhile things. In short, get rid of the dead

At first, this seems extreme, but instead you’re just making use
of nature’s law of vacuum. You closet will be magically filled with
new clothes once the old things are gone, your garage will not stay
empty long, and your personal growth will start again once the TV is
off. Do you doubt this? Then, I ask you to think of the last time
you cleaned house – where you threw everything away. Is your house
barren today? I doubt it. You probably have more things now than you
did before the house cleaning! This is the Law of Vacuum at

what about your girlfriend? Let’s face it, you probably want
someone you can enjoy sex with, take to parties, etc., Why not
just set her free? Don’t worry about love. Once you make room
for it, and focus on it as a goal, nature will go about filling
that void for you. If you need some help on breaking up, check
this link to a recent article I wrote that may help:

Once you create a vacuum, you then have to make use of another of
nature’s immutable laws: the “Law of Asking”. Here’s how this works:
“Ask and Thou Shalt Receive” (I think I read that in a book
somewhere). What that book didn’t say is, (but was implied) is “Ask
intelligently!” That is, you need a clear and concise picture in
your mind of what you want before you try to go after it. As I
discuss in my book, “Being a Man in a Woman’s World”, you’ve got to
get an absolute picture of what your life will be like when you’ve
found the girl of your dreams. You need to describe who she is in
every detail. Be specific and spend some time here. You don’t want
to use the Law of Asking to fill your love-void with someone like
the girl you have now – that would be unpleasant! You might want to
pick up a copy of the book and commit it to memory. It will lead you
right through the process of creating your “love plan”, and putting
that plan into action. 

Go forth, my brother – make use of nature’s immutable laws to
fill your life with the love you need, and let me know how things
turn out. Good luck, much love…