Dating / Relationship Question and Answer

20 April 2001

Why are Beautiful Women Crazy ?

Let’s face it – sometimes we men thing ALL women are crazy! The
fact is – everyone is crazy sometimes. Yes – even you (maybe
ESPECIALLY you – you be the judge). That is, everyone does
things that others perceive as crazy. Many women seem to be
particularly prone to acts of craziness. Beautiful women are
even more so.

What makes beautiful women more likely to be crazy? The simple
answer is, that they are given more opportunity to be crazy, and
crazy behavior seems to be more readily accepted from them. That
is, they learn crazy behavior and that they can get away with
it. Further, we men often help them along by allowing (even
encouraging) craziness in our relationships with them.

Before we get too deeply into all of this, let’s explore some
concepts we’ll use in a few moments:

“Crazy” verse

A psychologist friend of mine says, “Neurotics build castles in
the sky, psychotics live in them, and psychologists collect the

It’s important to differentiate “crazy” and “neurotic”.
Specifically, neurotic behavior can be thought of as individual
actions that seem inappropriate, obsessive, or dangerous –
particularly in the context of a situation. Crazy behavior is
more of a lifestyle and usually involves psychotic activity. It
affects almost every aspect of a person’s life, and tends to
directly impact those that come in contact with the crazy

We’ve all heard jokes about “that time of the month” or “being
one boy scout short of a jamboree”, etc., but you really need to
look closely at a new girlfriend’s behavior to see how its going
to impact you in the long run. You see, she will probably not
start off showing you craziness early in your relationship. If
she starts saying or doing crazy things when you first meet her,
walk away and don’t look back – this is the best she’s going to

Here are some examples of crazy behavour:

– Everything is fine until all of a sudden, she goes into a
raging fit over nothing important- She goes through your
personal things and then goes ballistic when she finds something
inconsequential (note: she shouldn’t be looking through anything
of yours in the first place – nor should you!)- She is obsessed
with purchasing the perfect belt, handbag or pair of shoes, when
she already has closets full of them at home- Her mood changes
constantly- She is consumed by the fear that someone is watching
her, has put a curse on her, or is going to get into a car
accident- She showers 3 times a day, but never works out

It is appropriate to note that men can be crazy too. However,
because of societal pressures on men, they don’t seem to be
crazy (or neurotic) quite as frequently as women. In general
crazy behavior is not tolerated as readily in men as in

For the remainder of this article, we’ll use the word “crazy” to
refer to women that are neurotic or mildly crazy – not the
clinically insane.

Best Sex You’ll Ever

Yes – it’s sad but true; you’ll never have sex like the sex you
get with crazy women. Why? It seems that acting crazy
automatically reduces or eliminates concern for the views of
others. They get “used to” being viewed by others and learn to
ignore it, or even revel in the attention it brings. Thus, the
crazy lady is more likely to be open to new ideas, especially
sex. However, always remember that crazy women are not
necessarily more sexual – this is a common misconception of the

The one exception to this is the obsessive woman who focuses too
heavily on what people think. However, this tends to be more of
a self-image issue than true neurotic behavior.

Crazy Is As Crazy Does

Actions speak louder than words – it really doesn’t matter what
she says. In fact, unless you’re well versed in translating
“Womenese” into English, focus 90 to 95% of your attention on
her actions. Watch what she does. Does she need to rub the body
of an airplane before she boards it for good luck? Does she make
weekly visits to a tarot card reader? Will she avoid making
decisions until she gets the advice of “Boots”, her cat?

There are many highly intelligent women that are crazy. Why does
this make a difference? Because, many of these intelligent women
are also usually high-functioning. That is, they; despite their
mental states, can proceed through life without severe barriers.
They make others around them think that they are perfectly sane
and rational. So much so that many people simply brush off their
crazy behavior as eccentric.

You Don’t Have To Buy Into

I have an adage that I live by – I ignore all neurotic statements
made by normal people, and ANY statement made by neurotic
people! Remember, regardless of how beautiful she is you don’t
have to put up with craziness – especially if it impacts your

Can you change her? Well, if you’re a clinical psychologist,
psychiatrist, or other health care professional – maybe. The
next question is, should you? Probably not. The time and effort
in trying to change someone’s behavior that has likely been
learned over a lifetime is enormous.

Ok, so what if you’re already in a relationship with a crazy
woman and you’re committed to making it work? First, you should
check you own motivations – I know too many men that spend their
lives trying to fix their partner’s problems. They do this first
for their own sense of accomplishment. Then, when they fail it
becomes something of a quest – they continue to beat their heads
against the wall.

If you still think you can change her, the very first thing you
need to do is let her know that you will absolutely not accept
any further crazy behavior – in other words, you expect her to
act sane. When she beings an “episode”, bring her back to
reality and have her confirm it. For example, a black cat
crosses your path and she freaks, say, “Honey, black cats have
no meaning and we left superstition back in the last millenium –
right?” Frankly, for some people it is next to impossible,
especially if she really has some organic problem. Remember
however, we’re talking about neurotic women here, not the
clinically insane.

What do you do when she slips back into neurotic behavior? Bring
the specific action to her attention immediately and remind her
that you will not tolerate it. Then, take her home and tell her
that when she decides to be rational, she can call you – but not
before. In order for this to work, you’re going to have to be
consistent. If you let your guard down even once, you’re opening
the door for more of that zaniness, and you’ll have to start
back at square one.

You should also get her into some type of counseling as quickly
as you can. Many productive lives have been saved by a few
sessions with someone trained to recognize and redirect neurotic
behavior. Neurotic behavior can sometimes get worse if not

Many men, having originally gone for the “10’s” are settling
for the “7’s”, “8’s” and “9’s” in order to get away from all the
drama. I also believe that this is at least one of the reasons
why you see so many beautiful women on the arms of older guys
(besides the obvious – money, power, etc.) These guys are better
able to handle all the wackiness of being with these women.

So, what’s it going to be – a crazy trophy, or a sane, down to
earth pretty girl? You decide.