The Art of Selling
Are you a good salesperson ?
I used to teach selling skills and asked this question of
thousands of people. Almost everyone doubts that they can sell.
Then, I have to ask, have you ever been in a relationship before?
Have you ever borrowed your parent’s car? Have you ever talked a
friend into seeing the movie you wanted to see? If you’ve answer
“yes” to any of these, some selling has been done somewhere!
People misunderstand what selling is. Most think that it means
convincing someone to buy something. Let me tell you up front – you
can’t convince people of anything. But that isn’t what selling is
anyway. Selling is about finding the people who want to buy what you
have to sell, and then making it worth their while to buy!
When it comes to your own love life, you want to learn to sell.
But, you want to do it the easy way. When a company creates a new
product, they don’t just rush out and ask people on the street to
buy – they “market” the product. This saves them time and money. You
want to market yourself too. Here’s how:
1) Define your Product
What is your product?
YOU! Look at what you have to offer. Are you comfortable with
yourself? Are you interesting? Do you have hobbies? What makes you
valuable to the opposite sex?
Don’t be too hard on yourself. In fact, you may want to ask a
close, trusted friend to help you here. Have this person help you
list your assets. Don’t dwell on your liabilities other than to ask,
“What can I improve in the next 30 days?” Spend 80% of your time
improving what you already have, and 20% working on correcting
things.
2) Define your Market
Who are you looking
for? The more specifically you can define this, the more likely
you’ll find it. You should take some time to consider exactly the
partner you want. What does he or she look like? How old? Liberal or
conservative? How much education? Does this person want children?
The more specific you can be the better. Then, write it down!
This is the most important step. Something magical happens when
you commit your thoughts to paper. There are actual scientific
reasons behind this that for lack of space, I won’t go into here.
Suffice it to say you need to write down the attributes of your
“perfect” partner – and be specific.
3) Find your Customers
Where does your
perfect match hang out? How are you going to find this person (or
persons)? They’re probably not going to come to you. So, why not use
what you already have. Consider your hobbies – are there
organizations or clubs devoted to your interests? Of course there
are! These are great ways to meet other people that share your
interests.
What about personal ads, singles clubs, and the Internet? You
shouldn’t limit your options when meeting people. You’re probably
going to have to meet a large number to find those that fit your
“target market” (see #2 above). Also, let your friends and family
know you’re looking to meet someone special. They know you pretty
well and have contacts that you don’t.
4) Make the “Pitch”
Once you meet someone,
you’re going to have to tell them about your product. In the love
market, this begins with “hello”. You should get used to saying
hello to everyone you meet. This makes it much easier when you meet
a potential prospect.
The pitch involves breaking the ice as well as getting to know
this new person. Once you’ve made the initial contact by saying
hello, just comment on something related to where you two are. For
example, at a wedding you might ask this person if they are friends
of the bride or groom, and how they know this person. At a
supermarket, you might ask for advice on a product. Try to stay away
from pick-up lines. First, they are generally ineffective. Second,
they make you look insincere. Just try to be honest and open. Also,
center yourself and get your confidence up. Most people say that
confidence – without being cocky – is a great turn-on!
What if you get turned down? Great! Remember – you’re just
working the numbers. You already know that you’re going to get some
successes and some failures. Don’t worry about it. The more “no’s”
you get, the closer you are to your next “yes”.
My book, “Being a Man in a Woman’s World” has much more
information on make your pitch.
5) Close the Sale
I can’t tell you how many
good salespeople make this mistake – they don’t ask for the order!
Somehow they expect their customer to do it for them! When you
approach someone don’t forget your goal – to get a home telephone
number. Don’t accept pager numbers, voice mail, etc.
How do you get the home telephone number? Ask! It is great
practice to get this number every time you talk to someone. In fact,
recent studies show that men get numbers at least 50% of the time.
As you get better at it, your averages will improve. But, you’ve got
to get started!
