Most men think the problem is all about them, and sometimes they’re right. But not having the skills to pick up women should not be the main focus. You should also brush up on factors that contribute to your personality; the same things that you can use to land a job, be on good terms with the next door neighbor and be able to jive with almost anyone in the world.

1. Personality

Physical looks are not a big deal, when you think about the gorgeous girls you see hanging out and walking hand in hand with very average looking guys. The fundamentals of a good personality are one of the basic attractiveness traits that most men probably never developed as much in their life as they could have.

It’s easy to say that ‘personality matters more than looks’, but how do you really interpret and apply this concept? Personality is the ability to adapt to a situation without compromising your basic beliefs. This means that no matter what kind of treatment a woman throws at you in the dating scene, you can stand your ground and turn the situation around.

Thinking fast on your feet and figuring out what’s really going on is a big part of having a great personality. Bad personality is simply a term that people use for those who don’t know where the other person is coming from, and those that cannot the general vibe within the situation. Being defensive, raising your voice, wisecracking to cover your embarrassment and getting pissed at the slightest provocation can be a sign of not being able to adapt fast enough.

2. Empathy

Women are naturally inclined to think that the only men who can really ‘get’ them are either gay or their close guy friends (who would never think of hitting on them). It’s very rare for a strange guy they just met to become so emphatic to their feelings after just a few minutes of conversation. It makes a girl think of many different far-fetched concepts like kismet, soulmates, or destiny.

The real truth about that magical connection that women talk to their friends about has something to do with the connection that the guy creates. Empathy is just one of the ways to make a woman feel like you’re meant for each other, and that she has been waiting her whole life for someone like you.

David Kwan