Today, I’m going to share some critical information with you on how to approach women.
If you want the best chance of having a successful approach with an attractive woman, it’s CRUCIAL to convey several things:
- That you are NOT desperate at ALL.
- That you are DOMINANT AND MEAN BUSINESS.
- That you are being SPONTANEOUS.
- That you are SINCERE.
- That you are a WINNER in LIFE.
Notice how NONE of the things mentioned above are about how INCREDIBLY AWESOME you think SHE is. That’s because, if you are the kind of MAN she wants to meet, then in HER mind, she’s thinking that you should be able to attract women like her without a problem, so she really shouldn’t be a big deal to you.
Now, let’s go through the above elements, and HOW TO CONVEY THOSE ELEMENTS TO A WOMAN.
It’s important to realize that in order to convey something to a woman, you must understand how WOMEN interpret things, even if the way they interpret things is COMPLETELY WRONG!
#1. NOT BEING DESPERATE AT ALL
First of all, anything that indicates EFFORT to speak to her, on your part, is a signal to a woman that you are desperate.
Notice I said EFFORT, not COURAGE.
Let me give you examples of indicating too much effort:
You see a woman in a mall, walking, and she is FAR away from you. If you want to approach her, do not let her see that you are running half way across the mall to approach her! Instead, you should set it up so that you walk ahead of her without her noticing that you have noticed HER, then casually slow down, turn a bit as if you are looking at something, and VOILA- she just “happens” to walk right toward you. NOW you can do your thing- after all, she was right in front of you, right- it was NO BIG DEAL…lol
Second, anything that puts her on a pedestal also reeks of desperation. This includes over-use of compliments, (I prefer to use none) especially on her beauty. Also, agreeing with everything she says and constant smiling and nodding also reeks of desperation. It says that you are treating her as if she has THE POWER TO MAKE YOU SO DAMN HAPPY- this THROWS ALL THE POWER IN HER COURT, and makes you seem INFERIOR.
After all, if you are not desperate, then why are you getting so excited and happy from her? Let HER smile instead. Giving her too much approval, too much attention, leaning in to her physically or metaphorically, all add up to d-e-s-p-e-r-a-t-i-o-n in her mind. Also, I should mention that acting MEAN does NOT SHOW that you are not desperate, it actually shows that you are indeed bitter and desperate.
2. BEING DOMINANT AND MEANING BUSINESS
Women can tell IMMEDIATELY if a guy lacks guts- if he is less than dominant, when he approaches them and opens his mouth. Sometimes, even BEFORE he approaches them, women can tell if he is a submissive little boy.
Simple: If a guy STARES at a woman instead of just IMMEDIATELY approaching her, a woman knows the guy is TOO NERVOUS to act on his DESIRE. So if you ever see a woman you’d like to approach, don’t let her in on it before you have decided to TAKE ACTION.
Now, it’s best to just go up immediately, so you don’t over analyze the situation and bog yourself down with doubts, but if you have no idea what you are going to say, (i.e. you need to figure out a tease to say), then don’t look at her as you are figuring out what you are going to say. Figure it out, and THEN IMMEDIATELY approach her. Meaning “business” is especially important when you ask for an email, or if you suggest an “instant date”. Let’s say you’ve chatted it up with a woman for a few minutes, and then you ask for her email…
At this point, I believe a woman makes a subtle TEST…she wants to see if you MEAN BUSINESS, or if you are just playing around, or if you are too scared to really do this kind of thing, etc, etc.
DO NOT SMILE when you ask for the email. Look her straight in the eye, totally calm, without fear, without smiling. You are being a man, offering a woman something she WANTS. Sugar coating it with smiles, etc, only makes it look like you are trying to sell her a raw deal. And if there is a pause, a silence, DO NOT FILL THE “uncomfortable” quiet by saying ANYTHING.
You asked her for her email, and now she has a CHOICE to say yes no or maybe. But if YOU fill the void, it’s a sign of you NOT being confident, it’s a sign of you trying to find a way out of this “emotional risk” (which is really no risk when you think about it)- and that would not be sexy. During that pause, she will be checking your expression to see if you are a MAN. If she sees you MEAN it, and are offering her NO EASY WAY OUT to lessen the rejection you may face, it shows her you are not afraid of the consequences of your asking, because you MEAN IT and are prepared to accept whatever may happen.
This is NOT desperation, it’s MEANING BUSINESS.
By the way, in terms of dominance, it’s crucial not to make the mistake of thinking this means to be a JERK. What it really means is to behave in a way that only a guy who is TOO COMFORTABLE with her can. Being a smart-ass can sometimes convey dominance as well- here’s an example:
Once, I was at a trendy clothing store and teasing the girl who worked there, telling her the caps on display (which had a “beat up” look) were defective merchandise…she laughs and tells me it’s the style, I tease her some more and say “Sure, you get this stuff at a garage sale and then call it “the latest style” ” She laughs more.. then I take the hat and put it ON HER HEAD…and I take a long moment…as if I am deciding if it looks good or not on her, instead of just kissing up…. She was EATING THIS UP…loving every second of it. This is what I mean by dominance, as opposed to being a jerk.
#3 BEING SPONTANEOUS
This is a funny one to me, because in reality, what APPEARS to be spontaneous to a woman is actually REHEARSED, and when a guy is truly spontaneous, he comes across to a woman as desperate. I like to consider myself a “good” guy. Years ago, I used to go up to women and I was all nervous and fumbled. But the reality is that I was that way because I had NOT rehearsed, because I was BEING IMPULSIVE AND SPONTANEOUS. And of course got hardly any positive results. I had no plan, I would just see a woman and go up to her, revealing whatever I was feeling at that moment.
Spontaneous. But women interpret that as being a guy who is a sicko, or desperate, etc. To appear SPONTANEOUS in a good sense, you actually have to PRACTICE! Hey, I didn’t say women were logical… That means whenever you see women anywhere, go up to them and tease them, and chat them up, and don’t think too much about how seriously interested you are or are not. It’s about developing the skill to just go up to women and tease, chat, without thinking…
This way, when you see that woman that you just HAVE to go up to, you will be well-REHEARSED so you can look SMOOTH and SPONTANEOUS! And of course, the worst thing you can do to ruin the appearance of being spontaneous is to STARE AT A WOMAN for five minutes before you actually go up to her. JUST GO, IMMEDIATELY. This is very romantic for a woman, when a stranger just pops into their life like that, so the women feel it was all destiny, blah blah blah… just like in a Harlequin romance novel… and when they are in bed with you, they will be thinking “it just happened” it was beyond their control, it was fate…blah blah blah…
#4 SHOWING THAT YOU ARE SINCERE
It’s important that a woman think you are sincere, and not a psycho, or a player. However, most guys overdo this part and instead show that they are not only sincere, but guys behave as if they sincerely think they are UNWORTHY of an attractive woman. (As if somehow being attractive makes a woman more worthy inherently). You can also be TOO SMOOTH, where a woman is really into you, and you can OVERWHELM her with being SO CONFIDENT in your body language, behavior, wit and smart-assness, that she feels it would be awesome to be with you, but that you are OUT OF HER LEAGUE.
The key to showing that you are sincere, without overdoing it, is to adjust to your particular woman in front of you, to determine how confident she herself is…by her responses, etc. And you should then accordingly pepper your smart-ass/teasing style conversation with a light small talk, and also by actually LISTENING to what she is saying, without kissing her butt. In other words, by having some normal conversation. The more confident she is, the more teasing she gets, the less confident she is, the more small talk.
#5 BEING A WINNER
Women are attracted to men who are in CONTROL of their lives and their emotions. So being a pessimist, or full of hate, or being a whiner or complainer is not a good idea. Droopy posture doesn’t help either. Equally important is being the kind of person who is passionate about life, who ENJOYS life, who has goals in life, and has a plan, and is putting the plan into action. FOR HIMSELF, NOT IN ORDER TO PLEASE ANY WOMAN.
Now, you could LIE about yourself, but why not actually find the things you are interested and passionate about and become involved in them? Most of what holds us back is fear, and when you abandon your fears and go for your goals, it not only makes your life more enjoyable, but others become drawn toward you as well. Since the beginning, women have needed men for survival, who could endure a hostile environment laden with numerous threats and unpredictable situations.
Think about the personality of a man who thrived in such an environment- he was a go-getter, he was not a pessimist, and yet he was also not living in a FANTASY, either he knew the realities and DEALT with them. Women still are attracted to that kind of man. And if you want to learn more about how to meet women ANYWHERE, how to take things from initial encounter to getting physical, to how to deal with any “tests” that women will throw your way, and how to succeed at a relationship if you desire to have one.
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