How To Get Yourself Noticed On A Online Dating Site

You may be the most sought after man or woman in real life but you will remain unnoticed on a dating website unless you learn how to catch people’s attention.

To do so, you need to write a catchy profile. It should talk about you, your interests in life, your passions, your likes and dislikes. It should also talk about the qualities you are looking in a date.

Men should try to tell people about themselves and not just write about the sports they are interested in. They should avoid writing about sex. Creating an air of mystery about yourself may help you get more responses. Women can make subtle references to sensuality to catch attention. But they should never make the mistake of being blatant about sex. It will lead to the wrong kind of mail.

There’s no harm in hosting your photograph. In fact, you should post both a close up and a full-length photograph of yourself. Profiles with photographs generate far more responses than profiles without photographs. Be careful about which photograph you choose. Avoid hosting those pictures that may give people a wrong impression about you.

Use a photograph that shows you looking happy and relaxed. A photograph taken in a studio may look like it is doctored, so use one that has been taken by a friend.

Elena Solomon, author of 12 Simple Rules share with me some great thoughts on Why You MUST Have a Photo in Your Internet Personals Ad. Let’s see on what she got to say …

Any online dating site will tell you that uploading your photo can increase your chances tenfold.

Why should you have a photo in your personal ad online ?

Here are top 4 reasons:

  1. You get more responses to your ad
  2. People are more likely to answer your messages
  3. You appear more credible
  4. You can influence people’s opinion about you

Now let’s consider those four points in more detail.


Most members only view ads of members who have photos in their profiles. If your profile does not have one, you are not even in the search results.

Some online dating sites also send newsletters to members with ads of new members who joined recently. If your ad does not have a photo, you may not make it.


Good-looking people (who obviously have photos in their personal profiles) receive lots of mail. If you are writing to someone attractive and don’t have a photo in your profile, your message is likely to be ignored.


When you do not have a photo in your personal ad on the dating site, it looks like you are either hiding something or you are too lazy to have one taken. Either way, it’s not good for your success on the dating site. If you are concerned about privacy, you can take a photo in sunglasses or from a distance, this will be better than having no photo at all.


This is the biggest advantage of all. When people view personal ads online, photos are the most interesting part, both for men and women. Men mostly look for physical beauty, women for personality shining through.

People try to figure out your personality by looking at your photos. If you appear happy, easygoing, open and warm, they will be naturally drawn to you. If you appear stiff, reserved, timid and insecure, they will feel repulsed. Look at your photos from this point of view, and if your photos don’t flatter you, get new pictures.

You can use a web cam or take a photo of yourself with your mobile phone camera – this will only take you a couple of minutes. This is what most people do.

But if you want BETTER than average results, then consider going an extra mile – this always pays off.

Spend a day to get the right photos, and you may set up your love affair for life! Don’t you think it’s worth it?

Get a friend with a digital camera to take a few hundreds of photos of you in different settings. Make sure you are dressed neat and stylish, and use open body language (no crossed legs or arms, no barriers between you and the viewer, relaxed, comfortable pose, and a lovely smile).

Choose a dozen or so photos where YOU like yourself the most, and then show them to your friends of the OPPOSITE gender. Usually there will be one or two favorites: use them in your Internet personals ads.

Having the right photo in your online dating campaign is crucial. It can make a difference between choosing from dozens of people competing for your attention and not having a date for the Saturday night.

Update your photo in your Internet personals ad and check the difference – it can be staggering!

If you place an advertisement on a dating website, make sure that you make it crisp and punchy. It should give reason for users to stop, and send you a mail. Casual or half hearted sales pitches fall flat or elicit the wrong response.

You should also spend some time on the website’s advertisement policy. Some dating websites put the latest advertisements on top. If this is true of your website too, then you must update your advertisement regularly to stay on top of the list.

Contact people who interest you. Don’t just place an advertisement and wait for things to happen. Remember that new members are more likely to respond. So, write to them first. Check for responses frequently and respond promptly to all messages, even if you are not interested.

If you are new to online dating, don’t worry. You can learn step by step guide on how I start my online dating experience at Try Online Dating.




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