So, you spot a “10”, blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, you walk up to her and…
YOU: “Sooooo… come here often?”
YOU: “Oh, I see…”
Let’s be honest, approaching women isn’t easy. It can be awkward, embarrassing, and downright difficult. But, like most things in life, if you know what you are doing it’s easier and with a little practice you can get pretty dang good at it.
When approaching women you should concentrate on three things:
setting her at ease
getting her number
All else is optional. I’m assuming that the whole reason you are approaching this girl is to get her number so that you can pursue her further. Let’s take a closer look:
Setting her at ease…
Why is this important ? Women get approached more than you think by weirdos and perverts. For this reason, women automatically put up their defenses when a guy approaches them. They become more critical and irritable. How do you get her to drop these defenses? Be friendly, smile, and keep the mood light. If you are nervous, she is going to know that you are trying to pick her up.
Also, don’t try to “pick her up.” Most likely she thinks that is the only reason you are talking to her so don’t act like you are trying to pick her up. Just carry on a conversation, chat, make jokes, heck, don’t be afraid to disagree with her, tease her… anything goes. Treat her like you would anybody else and she will notice and drop her barriers.
Obviously, if a girl is going to get her interest up. When you ask a girl for her phone number she is thinking “Do I really want this guy calling my house?” Basically, she decides how much she likes you. The guys that don’t impress her get rejected the one’s she is interested in get the number.
How do you impress women ?
Well, it sounds strange but the best thing you can do is let her talk about herself. Keep the conversation focused on her as much as possible. Letting her take control of the conversation ensures she won’t get bored, let’s you learn more about her, and keeps you from saying something stupid. You can’t lose!
Do NOT make the mistake of talking about yourself in an effort to increase her interest. It does NOT work that way.
Also, don’t drag the conversation out any longer than necessary. Get her interest up and then get out of there…
Getting the phone number…
Ahh, the moment of truth. Inevitably it will come time to part ways and when it does give her the ‘ol “Can I get your phone number?” (or some variation thereof). DO IT!!! Don’t chicken out.
To improve your chances of success don’t wait for an awkward lull in the conversation. Make her laugh and then pop the question. Also, give her a reason to give you her number. For example, instead of saying, “Can I get your number?” say, “Can I get your number so that we can do something this weekend?” or, “I’d like to get in touch with you again, can I get your number?” You get the idea. This will improve your chances IF you managed to impress her.
In the end, approaching women is a numbers game. A certain percentage of women will already be taken, another percentage doesn’t give out their phone number (no matter who asks), a certain percentage isn’t interested, but there is, of course, a certain percentage that will give you their number. It may not be a high percentage but there IS a percentage.
Don’t be frustrated because you approached 5 girls and none of them gave you their number. I have coached hundreds of men on how to be successful with women. On average, most guys will get rejected 4 out of 5 times. But, that means that if you approach 25 women a week you will get 5 numbers. Don’t get frustrated.
Now, you are thinking “This is all fine and dandy but how do I start a conversation? That’s the hard part.” Well, there is no magic bullet I’m afraid. With practice it will become easier but I won’t leave you with nothing.
Here’s an opening line that works very well for me
“Why do you look so sad ?” or “Why do you look so happy ?” (depends on how she looks of course). Say it with confidence, with a big smile on your face and it will work well. Give it a try … you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how well it works.
This works well for two reasons
It is an open ended question. It demands more than a yes or no answer so it will get her talking and leave you with the opportunity to ask more questions.
It will set her at ease. It’s not a traditional, cheesy pick up line.
Go get ’em.