How To Approach Women: The Definitive Guide 2020
1. How to Approach Women
1.1 Managing the Fear of Approaching Women
1.2 Overcoming The Barriers
1.3 Body Language Secrets
1.4 What Your Body Language Should Be
1.5 How To Read A Woman’s Body Language
1.6 The Power of Eye Contact
2. Using Conversation Openers to Your Advantage
2.1 Types of Openers
2.2 Direct Opener
2.3 Advice Opener
2.4 Compliment Opener
2.5 Opinion Opener
2.6 Situational Opener
3. Meeting Women ANYWHERE Without Stress
3.1 Participant Sports and Hobbies
3.2 Spectator Events
3.3 The Internet
3.4 Bars and Clubs
3.5 Learning Places
Meeting women is the first and most important step in any interaction with them. If you aren't able to meet them, then you will never be able to interact with them, date them or even have sex with them.
Back in the days, I was pretty much hopeless with women. Just one look at a beautiful girl with smooth skin, silky hair and blue eyes would make me nervous.
And after much trial and error, I was able to go from meeting no women at all to meeting two to three new ones a day. And now I find it easy to go out and meet women anywhere I am.
So, this is why I started this guide at the first place. I want to share my experiences with others who have the same problem meeting women I did, and hope that it could help them.
Here's the topic that you will be learning:
- How To Approach Women
- Using Openers to Your Advantage
- Meeting Women Anywhere
1. How to Approach Women
Without a doubt, approaching women can be a difficult or even scary process for most men. In this section, I'll lay out a plan for you to follow that will help teach you how to meet anyone, anywhere at any time.
The main objective is to teach you overcoming your fear of approaching women and get you confident to handle any social situations.
Over the years, I've refined this plan to make it as simple and stress free as possible while still guarantee you yield maximum results from it.
Along the way, there will also be few other concepts which can help you understand any anxiety you may have when approaching women and how to overcome it.
Managing the Fear of Approaching Women
I'm willing to bet that there has been a time in every man's life where he is afraid to approach someone that he found attractive. And because of such prevalent phenomenon, many men have come to conclusion that approaching women is hard, stressful and downright scary.
The feelings slowly creeped into our mind when guys decide not to approach a woman they like. We let the feeling take control over our thoughts "You're better off without her," or "she wasn't really your type anyway" or the common one "there's plenty of fish in the sea bro."
Whether you like it or not, this fear of approaching is a rather irrational one.
We are social creatures and believe it or not, we need human interaction to survive.
However, despite this, most people fear public speaking more than death and would rather stand in a corner quietly drinking than interact with others at a party. When asked, they usually responded with "I'm afraid of failure," or "I can't handle rejection." But no matter what, they will always find something to blame.
So where does this fear come from?
First of all, I believe that it is not always fear that hinders men from approaching women. Laziness is the culprit behind this. One of Sir Isaac Newton theory states that:
"Objects in motion stay in motion. Objects at rest, stay at rest."
When you're not approaching someone with the intent of befriending them even deep down you know you want to, then you are in a state of "rest".
This resting state is what I call it "comfort zone"
Comfort zone is a place where you feel secure, safe and comfortable.
You know what to expect in this zone and therefore you don't have to worry about feeling afraid. Most of the time you won't leave the zone because approaching someone introduces the prospect of uncertainty into your life.
It takes effort to get out of your comfort zone and most of the people prefer to be lazy and stay comfortable rather than do the work it takes to meet their goals.
This comfort zone can be the bane of your social existence. And this is the first barrier that you will have to overcome when approaching women.
However, there is a second barrier that exists and this is often the hardest one to overcome. Even those who do the work to leave their comfort zone must face this barrier before they can proceed.
This barrier tends to cause your heart to bear faster. It's what causes you to break into a cold sweat and palms sweaty.
But it's not the type of fear that you have in mind.
Many guys classified their "fear of rejection" as a thing that hinders them from approaching women, but I disagree with this.
But in my opinion, this is what I think most guys suffer from:
"Fear of Loss"
I know this may sound crazy considering you don't have the woman you want yet, so how can you lose her?
Imagine when you see a girl you're attracted to, that you know you want to have sex with, what happens?
Do you imagine holding her in your arms, making sweet monkey love all night long?
Do you fantasize how her breasts feel or how her lips taste?
Call it desire, call it lust or call it whatever you want. But you have to admit one thing to yourself:
You wanna tap that ass. And that's where the barrier exists.
It's this intense desire for that woman you find attractive that hinders you from meeting her. It's that incredible urge to fuck her, that overwhelming sense of "want." You simply want that girl especially if you're coming from a place of need.
The fewer woman you have in your life, the stronger this feeling becomes.
You allow that desires overtake you and short circuit your brain. It's the desire that prevent you from thinking of clever things to say.
As a result, it creates the fear of loss.
Desire creates an intense want of that woman.
And where there's an intense want, there's also an intense desire not to lose what you want!
Am I right?
This is why you shut yourself around attractive women. You keep quiet because you don't want to mess up your "chances." You don't want to do anything that may screw up the possibility that you can get what you want.
And when you do take action to get that woman you so desire, you take a chance that you could lose that woman you want badly.
That is exactly where fear comes from. Not really from rejection, we have too much rejection in our lives to be bothered by it. Not really from failure either, because we fail at stuff every day.
But when we lose something that is precious to us, we experience a type of emptiness that is incredibly hard to cope with.
That is why I think most men suffer from a Fear of Loss.
By breaking this down, here's are the two barriers that keep men from approaching.
- Comfort Zone
- Fear of Loss
Before you learn to overcome your fear of approach, you must learn to overcome these two barriers on a regular and consistent basis.
So how do we do this?
Overcoming The Barriers
What do you do when there are two barriers approaching?
Well, there are two things one must do to overcome them.
Firstly, build up competence.
Competence is merely a form of secure knowledge. When you have secure knowledge in something, you can be comfortable doing it. It is the foundation from which you base all your actions off of.
In order to overcome both barriers, you must have the necessary competence in knowing what you're going to say before you make an approach. Having memorizing certain openers of your choosing and being able to recall them can come in handy at these situations.
Knowing what to say is important because it gives you a way to break out of your comfort zone.
With the openers you had in mind, you don't have to think of something to say. You already know what to say.
Thus, this gives you the excuse you need to break out of your comfort zone.
Next, the barrier that you need to overcome is Detachment from Outcome.
Try not to care too much about the outcome of the interaction.
Disassociate yourself from the possibility of success.
This is imperative in overcoming your fear of loss.
When you detach yourself from the possibility that you may be able to sleep with a girl, you free yourself from fear of loss because you automatically disqualify her.
You rule out the possibility to have sex with the woman you desire but your goal changes so that this possibility is not the desired outcome of the interaction. Therefore, you wouldn't care about losing it or not.
Body Language Secrets
This is something that everyone should at least learn the basics, if you intend to get into the game. You don't have to be a good-looking model, incredibly rich or attractive to do so. Anyone can read body language.
With the right body language, when you enter a room, you portray the "I'm aggressive and I know what I'm doing", "I'm available" vibe to every woman there.
When you have your target in your sights, you can react quickly and let her know "I'm interested in you, you attract me and I would like to know you better."
Women pick up this sign from men very quick. It's time you learned how to use them for your own advantage.
This isn't rocket science, everyone can learn how to do. With this knowledge, you can put yourself on an equal footing with guys who are better looking than you are!
What Your Body Language Should Be
"Feet apart!" the instructor yelled.
He kicked my right foot to move it further away from my left foot.
"Dude, your feet are too close together!" You have to have a broad stance to project your alpha energy.
Then one night I went to a bar nearby where it's famous for its mechanical bull. There I spotted a rather attractive looking girl.
My instructor then told me "Shoulders back and leave your hands at your side." Don't put them in your pockets."
To which I replied "This doesn't feel right."
"But it looks right, that's what matters!" said my instructor. "You have to be alpha otherwise girls aren't going to waste their time with you."
And surprisingly the girl came over and ask "Are you okay?"
I replied "Yeah" Why?"
"You're standing funny," she smiled
"I'm trying to be alpha" I grinned.
She laughed and wish me good luck with that.
At that point I said to myself "Wow, I got a girl to talk to me just by the way I stood!" My instructor may not have given me the best directions but the idea behind them works.
We all communicate on many different levels. The way we use our body speaks just as loudly about us as our words do.
Few other tips on body language such as don't be afraid to take up space. Even when you're in a crowded area, you can communicate this in how you stand and sit.
Stand straight up, shoulders back, legs shoulder-length apart, and hold your ground. Don't let others crowd you.
Too often, men will shrink their personal space in crowded areas as not to touch others. Don't do this. Make physical contact with those around you and take up space. This gives out a sign of dominance to others, when they see others giving you the space you want.
Finally, learn how to read a woman's body language as well as projecting yours. Learn to size up the women around you and figure out who's interested. Look at the way they stand and sit. Make your choice and catch her eyes. If she's interested, you'll see her respond to you in some fashion. If she doesn't, you might want to move on to another target.
Be aware of how her body responds to you while you're talking.
- Are her arms clasped defensively?
- Open your arms up in response. Is her posture stiff and rigid?
- Is her face drawn tight?
Relax your body as you talk to her. Smile at her and relax your look.
In other words, answer her body signals with opposite and complimentary signals of your own.
Many people underestimate the power of body language. In fact, learning how to use your body to communicate your feelings and attitude to others can be a powerful tool. It is important that you are comfortable with your body and how you present yourself to others.
Remember: You have control over your body. Use it to communicate the right things.
How To Read A Woman's Body Language
As the saying goes "Action Speak Louder Than Words" and I couldn't agree more to that. If you learn how to read a woman's body language, you will always be able to tell which woman are interested and open to your advances and which women you're wasting your time with.
I call this :
These gestures are a signal of willingness and openness to talk to you. It can also be strong indication of attraction so keep your eyes open for them. You will know what you're doing is working.
Approach invitations works for both sexes but here's a short list of common approach invitation that you will come across:
- Touching the hair
- One or both hands on hips
- Smoothing the clothing
- Foot and body pointing towards you
- Increasing eye contact
Now let's talk about more signs of attraction, the first one will be pupil dilation and a flushed appearance in the cheeks. So, the next time when talking to a woman, pay attention to her eyes.
The more attraction she is experiencing, the more the pupils are dilated. Pupil dilation is always a big indicator of interest because woman have absolutely no control over it.
Next, when a woman exposes her wrist to you that could be a sign of attraction as well. She will gradually expose the soft, smooth skin of her wrists towards men she is attracted to. Why is this? I don't know. Maybe it's because the skin around the wrist is thin and therefore highly erotic and sensitive.
This also exposes the palms of the hands which is an accepting gesture, like she's offering you to take her by the hand and lead her into the bedroom. You often see this signal with woman who smoke. Watch their wrists. If they expose their wrists to you while she's holding her cigarette, she's telling you something.
Besides that, look at a woman's hips when she walks as well. The hips naturally have an accentuated roll to them when walking. This sort of highlighting a woman's pelvic region. If you notice a woman walking with an obvious roll of the hips, she's signalling something to every man in eye shot.
Lastly, remember the golden rule of picking up women: Pay Attention! Be observant to these gestures and signals women who are giving of. You will know that this is your cue for your execution.
The Power of Eye Contact
The eyes are the window to the soul. They will always betray what a person is thinking, if you're deft enough to pay attention to them. I'm going to share some secrets about eye contact that is going to help you meet woman like crazy.
Are you ready for it?
Here they come...
#1- The Vertical Scan
This is a major body language cue and one that is hard to pick up if you are not paying attention. The window of opportunity for this is very short. Imagine you saw an attractive woman. What will you do? Catch one glimpse at her face, then looked down over her body, going from head to toe right?
In other words, you were checking her out.
Women do the same thing. When they see a man they are attracted to, their eyes will go from his face to feet, because they want to see the whole package.
When you make eye contact with a woman, look at what her eyes do. If they flick downwards, guess what? She just checked you out!
She liked what she saw in your face and wanted to see the rest of you. It doesn't matter if she looks away immediately afterwards, because she was attracted enough to you to check you out. That my friend, is a major signal that she will be open to you approaching her.
The only problem with this is that it's easy to miss. It's such a quick action and you can easily miss it if you don't pay attention to it.
#2 - The Horizontal Scan
This usually occurs after you've been talking to the girl for a while. You've successfully attracted her and it's time to kiss. When you look deep into her eyes, you'll see them flicking back and forth as she looks from one eye of yours to the other, trying to get a read on you.
#3 - The Eye Contact Test
I think you will like this one. Most of the time, guys are simply too nervous to approach a girl because of the extreme amount of uncertainty involved. Think about it. What runs through your head when you want to meet a woman?
- "Am I her type?"
- "Will she find me attractive?"
- "Will she be receptive to me talking to her?"
If you get scared or nervous when this happens, it's because of one thing:
You don't know how the girl you want to approach is going to respond. So, you are scared because the outcome might be disappointing.
Well worry about this no more, because the tips I'm going to share with you, you'll never have to worry about negative reaction.
We all know eye contact is important but something funny happens when we make eye contact with another person. We become obliged to respond to them in some fashion. When it comes to women, you can use eye contact to find out if she's open to meeting you. In fact, in a way, she'll be opening you.
Here's what you have to do...
The next time you see a woman you want to meet, lock your eyes on her! Just stare at her eyes even if she's not looking at you.
When people are out and about, they will usually look around to be aware of their surroundings. This is an unconscious thing we all do. Eventually, the woman you're locking onto will look around to scan the area.
When she comes to you, her eyes will invariably meet yours and you'll be locked in eye contact.
When that happens, simply smile at her.
If she smiles back, guess what? She's open to you meeting her. If she doesn't, then move on to someone who is.
And when she does smile back, say "Hi!" And if she responds, you're in! Go right into your opener.
This tactic works effectively in low-key situations like grocery stores, coffee shops, book stores and etc. Often times, after you smile the girl herself will say "Hi!" and then the rest is easy.
The next time you go out, do this to every woman you see. Lock your eyes onto them and see what happens. I guarantee you will be surprised by the results.
2. Using Openers to Your Advantage
Imagine a butterfly flaps its wings, the breeze it creates sends a puff of pollen from a nearby flower into the air, causing a rhinoceros to sneeze.
The sound of that sneeze causes a herd of zebras to stampede, disrupting the flow of mind, current, which helps create a hurricane in the South Pacific, which causes United Airlines to cancel their flight that night, which means the girl of your dreams is forced to stay in town for one more day.
You found her at your favourite bar with her friends.
Though fate may be in your favour this time by doing the exact things to necessary to get that exact girl to show up in that exact location at the exact same time that you would be there, what matters most is up to you to take action.
But what action do you take?
- Do you sit at the bar watching her like a creepy stalker, praying that she will notice you and come over to talk?
- Do you offer to buy her a drink and like every loser go home $9 poorer?
The answer to the questions, of course is NO!
The correct answer will be: You OPEN her.
The idea of "opening her" is the notion of approaching a woman with the express intent of engaging her in a conversation.
By doing so, you then make her more receptive to talking to you, possibly opening her up for further interaction with you. Hence, the word "opener".
The "opener" is a line that is often used to initiation conversation. It is the first sentence exchanged between a man and his dream girl.
Why is this important?
If you don't open a woman, your chance of seeing her again and leading into a relationship or sex is non-existent...
After all, you can't further an interaction that's never been initiated. But when you do open a woman, your odds of moving forward into some type of relationship increase dramatically.
From the opener perspective, you have many different pathways you can follow. Few examples such as from friendship to girlfriend, to one night stand. Your opinions are only limited by your own beliefs and social skills.
But none of these will happen unless you initiate that conversation and start it off right. Whether you believe or not, there is a wrong way to approach someone, which we will cover later in other sections.
So now that you understand what an opener is, and why it's important. Let's move onto types of opener that you can use.
Types of Conversation Openers
There are many kinds of openers out there. Opener is the first thing that you say but the purpose of an opener remains to be engaging.
Here's a few openers that will always be engaging to your target:
- Direct Openers
- Advice Openers
- Compliment Openers
- Opinion Openers
- Situational Openers
These openers are now yours to do with as you please. You can either follow exactly word by word or come up with your own variations.
The possibilities are endless.
This is deemed one of the most dangerous form of opener because it can be quite blatant. Hence, if you do it wrong, you will very likely to get rejected.
But it can be very effective if you pulled off correctly.
It is a very blunt way of taking over your target's reality and imposing your own upon them. As a result, from the imposition, it creates resistance from your target.
For someone who is a skillful enough a conversationalist to bypass any resistance, this type of opener can get you in with your target fast!
Let's dive in with some of the direct openers.
1) The "I want to meet you" Opener
This is relatively straightforward approach. All you have to do is walk up to your target, smile and say:
"Hi, I like you. I wanted to meet you. My name is..."
Once you introduced yourself, you can take the conversation flow to anywhere you want to.
2) The "What's your name" Opener
An oldie but goodie opener. The purpose of this opener is by making the girl introduce herself first.
You: "Hi, what's your name?"
Her: blah blah blah
You: "I really like you and wanted to meet you. My name is..."
From here, it's typically introduced yourself in return, launch into a story or give her instructions to further your interaction.
3) The "Drive-By" Opener
This opener usually involves time constraint into the interaction you're in.
"Hey, I can't talk long, but you seem really cool and I wanted to meet you. My name is..."
This is effective to use if it looks like your target is in a hurry and doesn't have time to talk.
On the other side, it's good if you're in a hurry and really don't have time to talk.
After using this one, you want to get her contact information as fast as possible and set up a meeting.
These are the few examples of Direct Openers.
The most important thing to remember when using this type of opener is to be congruent and don't apology for being blatant. Even if you don't get the girl you want, they will still have respect for you.
One of the best ways to get people interested in you is to present yourself as some type of authority figure.
If you can speak confidently enough about something, while also giving people guidance, you can engage anybody in a conversation.
The best way to do this is to give people advice.
Main purpose of the advice opener is a way to engage someone by doing this, so you not only present yourself as an authority figure but also hook them into a conversation.
With this, you have to give valuable advice to someone in order to keep them engaged.
But first, how do you make your advice valuable?
The answer is to make it practical.
When giving valuable advice, make it in a way that it brought positive and supporting of your target's choice.
This is important because when you support your target's choice, you are not only telling them what they want to hear but you are also suggesting a commonality between you and your target.
And when you make the advice positive, you are resenting an attractive option that your target may follow. If they end up accepting your advice, you have established yourself as an authority.
So, with this in mind, let's get to some examples of advice opener.
1) The "Gas" Opener
Sometimes while you're refueling up your car, you'll see a rather attractive woman doing so nearby.
If this is the situation, I'll see how much she's spending on gas. If it looks like she's filling up her tank, I'll usually call out:
"Hey, do you know, you should never let your gas gauge fall below ¼ of a tank. All sorts of dirt and grime accumulate at the bottom of your gas tank, and if you go past the ¼ mark, you are putting all that dirt and grime into your engine. It'll save you lots of money in the long run on car maintenance. Do you know a lot about cars?"
This is actually a good advice when it comes to car maintenance because most women don't know this little trick.
If you notice, I take a read on the situation, offer an advice and then engage the girl by asking her about her knowledge of cars. Most of the time, women won't know a lot about the subject.
With this you've got a conversation going. Reminder that this piece of advice is also something the woman can realistically do it herself, so it's not worthless advice.
That's one way to make Advice Openers work.
2) The "Cheer Up" Opener
This one works well if you see a girl who's by herself either waiting, looking bored or has a frown on her face. Simply walk to her, point and say...
"Hey, cheer up! Things can't get much worse!"
This will usually get a laugh or a smile. You can then segue into this follow-up.
"You know it takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown? Why do you think that is?"
From here you can talk about the difference between being happy and sad. Nevertheless, this is a good opener to use because it's quite positive and energetic.
3)The "Closed-Off" Opener
When you see a woman standing around with her arms crossed. Approach her and say...
"Hey, is everything all right? You look so closed-off with your arms crossed liked that! If you uncross them, you'll look so much friendlier!"
This'll get them to uncross their arms. This is a neat little body-language trick, because once your target's body language is corrected, their attitude will follow and they will become more open to conversation. Just have a story ready go with the flow.
This is probably the oldest opener known to man. Compliment opener has been used so often that it has lost much of its sincerity.
Though, that's not to say women don't love flattery but you might just realise that they get compliments from men all the time. Not only this fails to distinguish yourself from every other guy out there but also fails to engage your target.
I remember this one time, I was out at a bar one time and talking to a guy I had umped into. He was waiting around, drinking his drink while eyeing a group of three girls at the bar. Suddenly opportunity presented itself when two of the girls left for the bathroom, leaving his dream girl unattended at the bar.
He turned to me and said: "It's been nice talking to you but I'm gonna talk to that girl now."
Interested in how he's going to approach her, I asked him what he's going to say?
"She's got a cool shirt. I'm gonna compliment her on her shirt. Girls love it when guys notice things about what they're wearing."
I couldn't help but cringe.
Sure, she's wearing a cool jewel encrusted shirt but I knew she probably heard that compliment million times before.
I tried to tell the guy but he disregard me and went ahead to talk to her. I watched him for few minutes and he got ignored by her. And that's pretty much the end.
That being said, girls hear compliments all the time and though it's nice to be flattered, they will often see through your reason for complimenting them.
Despite compliment opener being the oldest opener but it can work if done right.
By the term "done right" I mean complimenting a girl on something unique. Something that she doesn't hear it before. This means outside her physical beauty and fashion sense.
With this, let me show you some of the compliment openers:
1)The "Dancer" Opener
This is a good one if you gotten chance to see a woman walking in some way. Simply approach and say:
"Hey, are you a dancer by any chance? Because you move with such grace and confidence, you have to be professionally trained. Who's your teacher?"
If she says she's not a dancer, follow up with:
"Well, I bet if we get you in a club that's a different story."
Noticing the way a woman moves and commenting on it can be quite flattering to any woman because they're not used to hearing about it.
2) The "Walking in Heels" Opener
This is an opener you can use if a woman is wearing high heels. Walk up to her and say:
You: "How high are those heels?"
You: "Wow, you know, you really know how to walk in them. These days most women are so clumsy and uncoordinated. Good to know there are still some women around who know how to do it right. Did you have to go to charm school for that? How'd you learn?"
This is a strong compliment because it implies a certain kind of sophistication on the woman's part. By complimenting on her walking heels, you make her feel like she stands out from the crowd.
Walking in heels in a very feminine thing to do and by complimenting her on it, you're really complimenting her on her femininity.
3) The "Girly Girl" Opener
This is one is effective to use against very feminine target.
The term "girly" is when a girl is almost immature in her femininity. Most young party girls will often act "girly."
"Oh my god, you are so girly! You know, most woman today think they have to be all tough and macho because of feminism and stuff. It's great to see there are still girls out there who like being girls."
I like this opener because you are complimenting her on something that she's probably been made fun of in the past. She's probably insecure about it.
Just like "the walking in heels" opener, this one points out her femininity and encourages it and therefore has subtle sexual undertone.
As the saying goes "flattery will get you everywhere." You just have to know the right things to flatter. With compliment opener, you can open to anyone without worrying that they will get offended. You just need to be sincere enough in your compliments.
The opinion opener is probably one of the best types out there. This is because these types of openers are engaging and can lead to really great conversations.
One of the best ways to engage someone for the first time is by asking their opinion on something.
While doing so, you are able to get them to invest their own personal thoughts and feelings into your burgeoning conversation.
And once that's invested, they are more likely to commit themselves to the interaction.
A good opinion opener can be anything that does not telegraph interest while presenting options to your target that helps to encourage them to give and expand upon their opinion.
With that in mind, let's get going.
1) The "Stuffed Toy" Opener
I find this a good solid way of opening women who are by themselves or in groups at any venue you may be at.
Simply approach your target and say the following:
"Hey guys, I need a quick female opinion on something. My ten-year old niece has a birthday coming up, and she really likes stuffed animals. I can't decide whether to get her pink stuffed monkey or white stuffed tiger. She has lots of bear and stuff already. I was thinking of getting her different animal. Which one would you get her?"
After you get an answer from them, follow up with "why?" to open up the conversation.
Your target may ask you more questions about your niece or whatnot before answering. Just answer them whatever you want. No matter what they choose, debate them on it, saying you missed your niece's birthday last year so you want to be special.
If they asked why you missed her birthday, use this to jump into an interesting story you may have about traveling or going on vacation.
2) The "Two Opener"
The idea of is opener is quickly engaged someone in an opinion that doesn't require much thought, and then follow up with the question "Why?" You can use any two things you want as long as they are related in a way.
Here are some examples of the "Two" Opener:
- Hey, do you prefer coffee or tea? (Get answer) Why?
- Hey, which do you think is better - Marvels or DC? (Get answer) Why?
- Hey, real quick, which do you think was better, Lord of the Rings or Star Wars? (Get answer) Why?
These are few examples to use in low key situations such as on the street, at the bus stop, in cafes, grocery stores and many more.
3) The "First Impression" Opener
Similarly, to "Two" Opener, the "First Impression" Opener isn't a concrete example of an opener, rather just a type of an opinion opener.
It's where you have something that is unique or interesting about yourself or what you are wearing and you ask people what their first impression of that is.
For instance, one I like to use is if I'm wearing a thumb ring. I'll walk up to my target, hold out my hand and say:
- "Hey guys, first impressions... thumb ring on a man. Looks good or no?"
- "Yo guys, first impressions... men with shaved heads. What do you think?"
Another example of this type of opinion opener is when I bought some square tipped shoes. I'd walk up to women and say:
"Hey guys, first impressions... square tipped shoes. Better than the regular kind? What do you think?"
Usually wearing something interesting and getting a woman's opinions is a good way to engage them, because women love to talk about fashion.
The only downside to this is you give the girl opportunity to judge you. But if you have good story to back you up then that negates what your target has to think of it anyway.
Nevertheless, this is a good way to engage a girl right off bat.
One of my favourite Opener but can quite difficult to pull off for some guys. It requires one to be observant and quick witted.
Situational opener is dependent on situation so if the situation changes, your opportunity to use the opener is gone. But as long as you're quick to improvise, you can always make a comeback.
Every situational opener is dependent on the situation you're in but here are few common ones I've used in the past to give you an idea of what they are and how to use them
1)The "Desperate Girl" Opener
My all-time favourite
Occasionally, you will get a girl who will walk up to you and ask you to "help" her in some way. This is usually because she's lost or looking for something.
When this occurs, I like to think of her as a girl desperately looking for a man.
Her: "Can you do me a favour?"
You: "No, I will not go out with you!"
The point of this is to switch tables and make it seem like she's the one trying to hit on you. But the response is so unexpected, the girl will usually laugh. Then you can follow it up with:
"Actually, you seem nice enough. I take it back, we can go out. Let's get together at (place) at (time)."
If she tries to tell you she has a boyfriend or get back to her original question, just respond:
"Why were you hitting on me if you didn't want to go out?"
Obviously, there are lots of places you can go with this.
2)The "Crash and Burn" Opener
Inevitably, you will see another man hit on a woman and fail miserably.
When this happens, approach his target immediately afterwards and say:
"Okay, honestly, how did he do?"
Girls love this because it gives them a chance to vent about all the lame come-ons people use on them.
When she does this, it opens the door for a conversation about what will work on her.
This is also good because it falsely disqualifies you as a guy who's hitting on her, when the reality is quite the opposite.
3) The "Player" Opener
You can use this opener whenever you see a guy with more than one woman with him.
The idea behind this the guy is a real player and needs to share the wealth and by pointing this out, you also disqualify him from the women he's with.
"Wow, bro. One guy and (X number of) girls? You're making the rest of us look bad! You must be a total player!"
Then proceed to ask the girls he's with how big of a player he is.
No matter what they say, they're disqualifying the guy they're with and giving you an opening to engage them.
And the beauty is, you're complimenting the guy, so he can't really get mad you.
Lastly, there is no limit to what kind of situational openers there are. The more you go out, the more situations you're in, the better you will spot the opportunity.
3. Meeting Women ANYWHERE
One of the most asked question I get is "Where do I go to meet all these women?"
There's no map that indicates "Go here to meet women!" But in reality, you don't need a map to find women. Women are everywhere if you place close attention to it.
That being said, the location you find a woman usually correlates to the type of women you find. For instance, if you're looking for a wild party chick to have mind-blowing sex with, chances are you won't find her when you go to church. So, keep this in mind when you go out to meet women.
Below are the few examples of places:
- Participant Sports and Hobbies
- Spectator Events
- The Internet
- Learning Places
Participant Sports and Hobbies
Having a common interest is one of the best ways to meet women. If you pursue things that you're passionate about, chances are you will eventually meet women who enjoy the same thing.
For instance, if you join gym that offer different classes such as aerobics or yoga, there is a high chance you get to meet women there. So, sign up for a class and get to know some women in them.
Apart from that, hobbies and clubs are excellent ways to meet women. If you're an avid comic book collector, go to a convention. Chances are you'll see women there who are into comic book as well. Usually major hobby will tend to have major event where people gather to share their passion.
Sporting events, Concert or Theater events can be great place to meet women. While the event is going it may not be a convenient time to meet them because everyone will be focusing on the particular event. But whenever you're standing in line, or during a break, that's a good time to meet someone new.
For instance, if you're at a baseball game, you can ask what team she's rooting for and go from there. Whenever these special events let out, that's a great time to meet people. This is because a lot of women will be riding the high of the event and looking for something to do.
Oddly enough, events like horse racing are great places to meet women. In a horse race, all the action take place in just a few minutes, with half hour intervals between races. This is the time where you're free to meet all sorts of people and have friendly interactions with strangers.
In today's modern age, everyone is connected by computers. The internet has sprung up as a major venue to meet women online. Places such as Facebook, Tinder, Instagram and etc are good places to begin.
Basically, you create a profile and put a photo of yourself and done. From there you can slowly find a match. When you found someone attracted to just swipe and wait for them to react. Once the two of you are in a match, you can then privately message the person and start a conversation.
Bars and Clubs
Bars and clubs are always a good stand-by option to meet women but they are also the hardest time getting the girls. One of the main reasons is because women usually go into bars and clubs with friends.
It does make things harder because girls will go out with their boyfriends, husbands, and etc or their girlfriends will be very protective of them and will attempt to block your advances.
Secondly, women's defenses are usually up at these places because they're usually targets. On average, they get hit on hundreds of times a night and you have to work to differentiate yourself from the common Joe.
So, if you're up for a challenge or just looking to get out and unwind, Bars and Clubs can be good. It is possible to meet women there and take them home for a good time or hook up with them down the road.
Important note girls you meet at these places are considered "Party Girls" and they are the hardest ones to have a stable type of relationship with so know what you're getting yourself into.
Learning places like schools, colleges, universities or other educational centre are goldmines of women. These places usually full of young, single women making attempts at mate selection.
Community colleges are good because women from community college are easier than women at expensive colleges. Hanging out around campus, cafeteria or library could yield good results.
Finally, places like this are particularly conducive to meeting women because the shared lifestyle and concerns of students make it easy to initiate conversation with each other. You have a great deal in common simply by being students at the same school and don't need to find topics of mutual interest to talk about.