Real Opportunity for Dating
Do you have a real opportunity for dating? This is the key factor which determines when you begin to date. If you have no one to go with, then you can't date, no matter how ready you are.
[an error occurred while processing this directive]If there are few social events in your school or community attended by both boys and girls, your dating may again be delayed-that is, unless you take matters into your own hands.
Creating opportunities of your own may be hazardous, or it may make the difference between dating or not dating at all. So let's look at some of the factors involved.
Offered-Friends and Fun
Some schools, churches, and communities provide plenty of opportunities for young people to date and become socially expert. They offer a good youth program in which any young person can find friends and activities, and they encourage wholesome interrelationships between the sexes.
When the social program is combined with opportunities for discussing and reviewing one's personal progress, young people have a real advantage. During the teen years, and on into young adulthood, most persons of both sexes are striving to find themselves, to become accepted as persons as well as dating partners.
They need to know not only what is expected of them on a date, but how to develop into attractive and interesting men and women.
Schools, churches, and youth-serving agencies provide many-faceted programs in which young people can find themselves and their interests-and share those interests.
Often they themselves help initiate social boy-girl programs as well as informal and regular courses that prepare for wholesome dating experiences.
"A Stranger in Town"
Sometimes a young person finds himself in a strange town where he knows few, if any, datable young people. Perhaps he has transferred to a new school or this is his first year away at college. The question is-how to make the friends that lead to dating?
It's natural for a girl or boy in a new place to feel insecure among strangers. "Will they like me?" "What do they expect of me here as a person?" "How can I get to know the people I'll like and who will like me?" These and many other questions keep arising.
A teenager in such a situation may avoid new people just because he's afraid of making a wrong impression. The result then is that others think of him as a snob and avoid him. How much better to do something positive to get into the swing of things!
A boy or girl in a strange new school could join a club, get a spot on the school paper, try out for the glee club, the drama group, the hockey team, or get on a committee. Just telling the school counselor or home room teacher of your eagerness to get into activities is a good start. Once the ice is broken, the rest is relatively easy.
School Ties
Possibly your dating experience is hampered by the fact that you are attending an all-boys' or all-girls' school. Then it's necessary to date people from other schools if you date at all. Your school may plan mixed parties with another school. Young people that you meet at such functions will probably be suitable as dates.
Going out with students from other schools can be fun-if it's not overdone. Dating people outside your school to the exclusion of the boys and girls in your class is a mistake. As a teen-ager you need to be in with a group that has similar interests and is near enough for a Coke and chatter after school.
A Word to the Wise
Most teenagers stick pretty well within one group for their dates and parties. Occasionally, however, you may be invited to a party where some of the guests are strangers to you. Suppose, while you're there, you meet a boy who seems nice and who wants to take you home. How will you know if he's a suitable escort? There are some things you may want to consider before giving him your answer.
You might ask the adult in charge of the party about the boy and his reputation. Or you might speak with the hostess. If these people speak well of the fellow, you could accept his invitation. But first make sure that he hasn't brought another girl to the party, whom he is planning to ditch.
You don't want to be the cause of someone else's discomfort. If there is some question about the boy's reputation, or if no one at the party knows him well enough to say, the safest thing is to stay out of the situation. If you'd like to get to know him better, you might suggest that another couple whom you know well join you in riding home.
If no one else is going your way, you can politely refuse this time, and invite him to your house some afternoon to meet your parents and listen to records. As you get to know him better, you'll learn whether or not he's the kind of person you'd like to date.
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