Eliminating Negative Self Talk
When thinking about, planning to or actually attempting to talk to a girl you like for the first time. Your subconscious mind will often try to do everything within it's power to prevent you from doing what you want by telling you all kinds of nonsense.
This "nonsense" is easy to believe when you are already scared, and will have you fighting an uphill battle with yourself. So what's all this "nonsense" I am talking about?
Basically, it's the negative thoughts that go through your mind when you are about to approach a girl you like. These thoughts make you doubt that you have any chance with the girl you like and are often in the form of questions, statement and suggestions.
The most common questions and statements men often ask and tell themselves when or before approaching a woman were:
Statements:
- She's too pretty for me
- I'm not good enough for her
- Everyone's going to laugh at me for even trying
- Why would she even be interested in me?
- She could do far better than me
- This girl is way out of my league
- She must get this all the time
- I have absolutely no chance
Questions:
- Why would a woman like her want to be with a guy like me?
- What makes you think you are a Casanova all of a sudden?
- She can have any guy in the world, why would she choose you?
- What's the point? There's no way she's interested
Suggestions:
- That girl is way to pretty, why not try someone in your own league
- This is stupid, just go home and relax and you can try this again
tomorrow
- You are not ready yet, buy that dating course and then you'll be
ready
And on top of all those questions, suggestions and statements your mind will throw at you. You will also find yourself with all kinds of excuses to wiggle out of actually going through with what you want to do.
You might find yourself saying "I have to go to the washroom and check how I look before I do this" , or "why don't I get something to eat first".
These are all stupid excuses, and the bottom line is:
All BS aside: if you want to approach a pretty girl you will have to ignore the BS your mind might be telling you and go for it.
Now I realize this maybe easier said than done, but here is what you can do to help yourself…
All those statements and questions are likely to give you a low self esteem and send you home alone, depressed and feeling defeated.
However I am sure you do not want to feel that way at all, that's why we must re-address each of these questions and replace them with a much more suitable question or statement to ask yourself. So it will in effect boost your confidence and self-esteem and dramatically decrease your anxiety when you're approaching women.
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