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Signs Showing the Women is Interested with You
As you probably know, most women decide in
the first three minutes of meeting you whether you are lover
material or simply another lowly "friend." What you may not know is
that those three minutes are also the minutes during which you run
simple, low-risks tests on her to find out of she is interested in
you romantically. If she is then you have "pre-qualified" her, and can move forward with more confidence into
asking her out, initiating, going for the first kiss, etc. If
she is not interested then you have found out, you haven't taken
much time, you've risked almost nothing, and can move on to
someone else.
You've got to make use of those key three minutes to find out if
she is open to the idea of being lovers with you. While it's not
completely effortless, if you run a few simple tests during that
critical period, you can find out.
These first three minutes are the best time to both find out if
she is interested in you _and_ to help generate and increase
whatever interest in you she does have. Let's recap a woman's first
experience of you: When a woman meets you, even if she thinks you
are cute, you represent a problem to her. While you are thinking
about great she'd look naked, and wondering if those are her real
breasts, she is thinking about how you will probably leave her like
all the others, and is convincing herself that she shouldn't even
bother with you. Her natural inclination will be to put you into the
"friends" category right away, just to keep her life calm. And if
you act like a friend, that is exactly what will happen.
When you show romantic interest right away, however, you are
throwing a monkey wrench into her "friends" plan. You are not going
quietly into that dark night of "just friends." No, you are putting
yourself in the "potential lover" category by doing the things a
potential lover would do. When you do those things, it is easier for
her to go with the flow, and--provisionally, at least--to think of
you as a potential lover. After all, you are acting like a potential
lover, aren't you? It's easier just to think of you as one.
When you do these flirting moves, you are not only trying to stay
out of the "friends" zone. You are also testing her, to get a sense
of how open she is to being seduced.
For instance, does she blush when you wink at her, or look angry?
Does she smile when you check out her body, or does she reach for
her rape whistle? Does she glow when you compliment her beauty, or
does she give you a stern lecture about he patriarchal nature of the
way men treat women and the disgustingly phallocentric practice of
modern dating? By testing her with the flirting moves, you can find
out her level of interest or disinterest without doing much work or
taking much risk.
We've been over these moves before--the difference now is that
you are thinking about these flirting moves as tests, rather than as
initiations. You are finding out, through these tests, how open she
is to being seduced.
Here's what to do:
The wink test. You can wink at her from across the room, or wink
at her during a conversation. If she says something funny, or
someone else does something silly, give her a wink as a way of
sharing a little moment for just the two of you, as if the two of
you are in on some private joke no one else is aware of. If she
relaxes and laughs, she's interested in more. If she gets cold or
more remote, she's not.
The body-check test. The goal of this test is for her to see that
you notice her body, without leaving her feeling objectified like
some piece of meat. You do this by making eye contact, then quickly,
in less than a second, passing your eyes down and then up over her
body, then back to looking her in the eyes. This should happen
quickly, and you should be unashamed of taking the glance. If she
seems relaxed or happy when you meet her eyes again, she's
interested in more. If she gets cold or more remote, she is not.
The eye-contact test. While you are conversing with her, you want
to be sure to have eye contact at least some of the time. At least
once, hold the eye contact a little "too long"--just a fraction too
long, so there's a brief, more intimate moment between you. If she
holds your eye, she's interested in more. If she looks away or seems
upset by it, she's not.
The compliment test. In this test you give her a compliment, and
see how she takes it. The only trap here is that the compliment must
be one a potential lover would make, not one a tepid friend would.
Here's the difference: A man who is destined to be a woman's friend
compliments her by saying something like, "You have a very nice
briefcase." The compliment doesn't show that he is interested in her
romantically. It doesn't test her, because it hasn't give her
anything romantic to react to. A real compliment is something like,
"Wow, you have beautiful eyes," or, "I have to tell you, you have
really great style. You just light up the room." If she smiles at
your compliment, and thanks you warmly, she's interested in more. If
she seems uncomfortable, she's not.
Any flirting move can be made into a testing move. The key is
that romantic-interest testing moves must 1) make it clear in some
small way that you are romantically interested while 2) not be so
risky that you are either scary or putting your ego on the line.
With a little practice these moves (and more like them) will
become second-nature to you, and you won't even have to think about
them--you will automatically do them every time you meet a woman you
are attracted to. Her responses will tell you if she is interested
or not, and you can assess whether or not you should initiate more
aggressively, and take bigger risks, from that knowledge.
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