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How Shy Guy Should Talk
We can all benefit from going over the basics of exciting, charismatic communication. Here they are:
1) Speak from deep in your body. There's a very good chance that you don't involve your body in your speaking very much. You probably breathe pretty shallowly, and when you speak, the resonance of your voice probably comes mainly out of your throat, neck and head, rather than out of your chest or deeper in your body.
You must practice breathing more deeply, and practice letting sound come out of that deeper place. Try breathing deeply and saying "ahhhh, ahhhh, ahhhh" with each breath, letting the sound come out of a lower place in your body. Then try speaking. You'll find that your voice is more resonant and easier to listen to. If you do this every day, after a while your habit of breathing will change, and your vocal tone will change along with it.
You can practice this exercise wherever it's convenient: in the car on the way to work, in the shower in the morning, or whenever you happen to be alone.
2) Speak more excitedly. Many men who get the feedback that they are dull have usually gotten into the habit of never showing any real excitement about anything.
Charismatic, attractive men, on the other hand, are good at sharing their excitement about things in their lives by the way that they speak. You can learn to do this by practicing speaking excitedly about things.
Imagine that there is a gauge strapped to your forehead that shows how excitedly you are speaking. If you are a shy man, that gauge probably reads out the lowest level of excitement most of the time. If the gauge shows from 1 to 10, you probably hang out at about one or two. Your job in becoming a more exciting man is to learn how to purposefully get that gauge reading five, or six, or eight, or even ten. Heck, your job is to get so excited about something that the gauge explodes.
You do this by practice. Choose a topic, and spend one minute (use a watch or set a timer) speaking excitedly about that topic. You can do this alone, or with a friend. Really let yourself go, and get excited about it! As you practice speaking excitedly, you'll find you are more animated and exciting in conversations with women. And this will make you much more interesting.
3) Let yourself be definite about things. Men who come across as boring learned early in life that they would get punished for speaking with certainly or decisiveness. They learned that the best way to live was to stay "under the radar," and to never appear too certain about anything. This may have worked in your family, but you are grown up now, and it doesn't work with women. If you are shy, and people tell you that you are boring, it's time to start experimenting with speaking with certainty.
The fastest way to do this is to remove the words "I guess" from your vocabulary, and to always replace them with some statement of certainty. Instead of saying, "I guess so," try saying, "Yes!" Instead of saying "I guess that'd be okay," try saying, "That's what I want." Instead of saying, "I guess we could sit over there," try saying, "Let's sit over there." This one tiny change can have a huge impact in how dynamic and charismatic you seem to other people.
Some men have natural charisma in their speaking. The rest of us have to practice. Good luck!
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