Evaluating Risk When Ask Women for Date and Phone Number
Asking a woman for a date, for her phone
number, or for her email address is always risky. You are having a
hard time figuring out how big a risk you must take, and how quickly
you must take it. Because you can't tell how much you should risk
and how quickly you should risk it, you miss important opportunities.
When you interact with women, you need to keep a closer eye on
just how urgent the situation is. Every man has had a wonderful
woman walk out of his life forever because he wasn't conscious of
how urgent it was to take a risk with her right then. Men have also
blown it by risking too fast with women, and scaring them off.
Understanding the three time frames of an interaction with a woman
will help keep that from happening to you again.
1. You only have a few minutes: In this situation you only have a
few minutes (or a few seconds, even) to make contact. You are on the
train, or you are in line, and this is your one and only chance. You
are in line with a woman, you say hi to her, and it leads to a
conversation, you have to get her number or email address right
then. If you blow it, she is going to be literally gone. In this
situation you have to cut to the chase quickly. You have to risk a
lot to get her phone number or email address, or it's all over.
2. You have a few hours. This is a situation like an all-day
seminar, a party, or a work-related activity, where you know she is
going to be around for a little while. You can risk with her over
time. You don't have to risk it all right away--you can afford to
wait, and to take small risks with her over a few hours, rather than
having to take a really big risk all at once.
3. You can reliably have interactions over days, weeks, or more.
This is the waitress you can go back and see over and over, or the
woman in your Aerobics class who always works out at 5pm on Tuesdays
and Thursdays. You can risk much more slowly with these women, and
build a connection over time, because you know you will see them
again and again.
The power about knowing about these three time frames is that it
gives you the power of knowing how much you have to risk, and how
quickly you have to risk it. It gives you a "reality-check" about
what you absolutely must do next if you want the woman. If you are
putting gasoline into your car, and the woman next to you is
attractive and you want to talk to her, then you had better risk a
lot right then, because she is about to disappear from your life. On
the other hand, if that same woman shows up at an eight-week class
you are taking, you don't have to risk big right away by going for
her phone number or email address. You can risk big if you want, but
you can also take smaller risks, and seduce her over time.
You can also look at this like it is a "risk spectrum." You have
to take more risk when you ask for the number of a woman you are in
line with than you risk in getting her number over time, like when
you see her twice a week in your aerobics class, for instance.
Hopefully this will help you evaluate your situation, and take
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