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Hand Holding To Something More Intense
You've heard the saying that "God is in the
details"? Well, so is sex, as it turns out. If you can bring
exquisite, detailed attention to even a tiny part of her body,
she'll go nuts for more. The mistake most men make is
they
want to move on to something big, and fast. To advance hand-holding to something
more, you have to focus on being small and slow.
This means slowly caressing the palm of her hand, or touching
your fingertips to hers, and really bringing your attention to the
feeling of the sensation. Or you might just lightly stroke the
inside of her wrist. You do this to draw her attention to the
subtleties of the touch you are sharing. Also, take your time
with it. Most of our students are afraid that if they don't
rush sexual interactions, sex will never happen. But it turns
out the opposite is true. If you show that you are really
willing to give her detailed, attentive touching, and that you
aren't pushing things, it will very often draw her towards
you. Also, if you are willing to show that you have some faith
that sex with happen--you show this by not pushing things too
hard, too fast--you will also be very attractive to her, and not
like all the boneheads guys who either
1) be "friends" by showing no interest at all or
2) be
"jerks" by trying to push or bamboozle her for sex.
You may also want to hold eye contact while you are doing
this touching. Don't force it; if she turns to look at you,
hold her gaze. Be willing to really look into her eyes, and to
have her look into yours. Show her you are willing to hold
that intimate contact. She'll probably be looking to you for
whether it's okay or not to connect so strongly, so let
yourself believe that it's okay--don't wait for her to believe
it's fine before you do.
This it's a good time to comment on the energy between you.
Commenting on the energy draws her attention to it, without it
seeming like you are forcing anything. Saying, "Wow, this
energy between us is really amazing," can do a lot to
intensify her awareness and acceptance of that energy. If she
says, "Yes, it really feels great," that's when you might want
to kiss her. You can either slowly lean in and kiss her
without saying anything, or use the "announce" method, and say
something like, "Don't panic, I'm going to kiss you now."
Commenting on the energy is also a great test to see whether she
is ready for the first kiss, or not. If she says, "Eh, I don't
feel much energy," then you know to not bother trying to kiss
her. If she says, "Yes, I feel it and it really scares me, I
think we should slow things down," then you know to back off
for a while, until she is comfortable. Often women will have
some sort of problem at this point to see how you will handle
it:
"Will he be patient with me, or will be argue, pout, or be
a jerk?" Be patient, don't resist her resistance, and go back
to hand-holding. Move closer again later.
These steps will help build the real energy and intimacy between
you, and open the gateway for more contact.
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