These are critical if you are to get out of the “Friend” zone and into the “Potential Lover” category with any woman :

  1. Smiling. You must smile. You probably think you smile now, but you don’t, really. You should practice your smile in the mirror–to be big enough to be noticed, your smile will probably have to be bigger than you are used to.
  2. Getting caught looking. Most people look away when the object of their desire looks at them. If you want to let that person know you are interested, when she catches you looking, smile, hold eye contact a moment longer, then look away.
  3. Waving. A little wave to someone who caught you looking, along with a smile, is a non-intrusive, very flirty way to say “hello.”
  4. Winking. You can wink at someone from across the room, or wink at someone during a conversation. If she says something funny, or someone else does something silly, you can give a wink as a way of sharing a little moment for just the two of you, as if the two of you are in on some private joke no one else is aware of.
  5. Asking “what’s the story behind that?” You can ask “what’s the story behind that?” about any special or unusual thing your quarry is wearing or carrying. Examples: “that’s really neat bracelet you are wearing. What’s the story behind that?” or “That’s a really great briefcase. What’s the story behind that?” Even if there isn’t much of one, it’s given you some conversation.
  6. Holding eye contact. While you are conversing with her, you want to be sure to have eye contact at least some of the time. At least once it’s a good idea to hold the eye contact a little “too long,” just a fraction too long, so there’s a brief, more intimate moment between you.
  7. Non-intrusive touching. This can be as simple as placing your hand lightly on her hand for a moment, or touching her back for a moment as you walk to a table to sit down. Just do this a couple of times on the first flirting interaction–if she pulls away, don’t do it again.
  8. Checking her out. Checking out her body must be done properly. The goal is for your new friend to feel complimented that you noticed her body, not objectified like some piece of meat. You do this by making eye contact, then quickly, in less than a second, passing your eyes down and then up over her body, then back to looking in the eyes. It should happen quickly, and you should be unashamed of taking a glance. Just don’t do it too often.
  9. Using the “Good-bye compliment.” If you are shy, flirting with the “good-bye compliment” may be just the thing you need. On your way out, you simply go up to the woman you want to flirt with, and say something like, “Hi, I have to go now, but before I did, I really wanted to let you know that you have a really great sense of style, and that I noticed it. I wish I had more time to spend with you, but I have to go.” Then leave. This allows you to build your confidence in approaching women, without having to take the risk of rejection–after all, you have to leave, you couldn’t stay even if they wanted you to! (Some men also ask for phone numbers at this point.)
  10. Stopping while it’s still fun. Remember, flirting should be fun, and you should leave the flirting interaction feeling victorious. Most men leave their flirting interactions feeling like failures because they don’t stop until it stops being fun. If you stop flirting on a high point, while it’s still fun, your new friend will feel good when thinking of you, and want to see you again.

 


Ron Louis and David Copeland are dating coaches and authors of the best selling “How to Succeed with Women” and the creators of  The Mastery Program : Your Step-by-Step Course in Meeting, Flirting With, Dating and Seducing the Women of Your Dreams.
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