How to Get A Man To Answer Relationship Questions
Question and Answer with relationship expert Dr Dennis
Dear Dr. Neder,
Hi,
My Boyfriend just broke
up with me a week ago. He said things
weren't
going well and he thought it was best that we be on our
own.
He still calls me every night, and he took me out to a movie
today. I kissed him and he said he still likes me but that he's
confused. Frankly, he's confusing me!
Help!
Hello!
It's hard to know what's going on inside his head without knowing
him. In fact, the only one that really knows what's going on (or can
find out) is you!
Perhaps he feels he's too young to be in a steady relationship or
maybe he's just not getting what he wants from it.
Here's an idea: ask him! But, be smart about it. You see, men
have a very difficult time putting their feelings and emotions into
words. This doesn't mean that they don't feel things - in fact, they
do. However, these are complicated emotions that are difficult to
express verbally.
So, try this: ask him why he made his decision by asking him
"yes/no" question instead.
For example, if you asked him, "Why don't you want to be together
like we were before?" He has to come up with all sorts of
complicated thoughts to express how he feels, and will still not be
able to really get his feelings out. Then, he's going to feel like
he has to defend his decision with more complicated discussion.
Instead, if you ask him, "Do you want to break up because you're
not really getting what you want from our relationship?" He's going
to say either "yes" or "no". Now, you can continue this by asking
another "yes/no" question like, "Do you feel like you need more time
to yourself?" etc. You can continue this, making it easy for him to
express himself all the way to the point where you get a real
answer.
One last thing, don't do this with the intention of trying to
find out where he's wrong and change his mind. He'll pick it right
up and stop answering ANY question! Instead, do it to gain real
understanding about him and your relationship.
Good luck, much love...
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