|
|
Fear Losing Her
Question and Answer with relationship expert Dr Dennis
Dear Dr. Neder,
I just came across your site. I am getting
your book tomorrow. In the meantime, I met a beautiful young lady
three weeks ago through a friend. She never says no if I want to see
her and enjoys while we
are together. I haven't kissed her yet, because
she said she needs more time before she's ready for
a relationship. I don't want lose her. I like
her
a lot. What should I do? Is she being honest? How can I
tell?
Her background: she broke off an engagement late last year
because the guy wanted her to move to another country where he has a
wealthy family. She didn't want to move away because her mother,
brother and couple of her sisters live here.
Is she
just respecting the friend who introduced us? Can you help clarify
this?
Hello!
I'm glad you're going to get the book -
it's going to help you in some very profound ways. The first way is
to better understand that this woman is playing
you.
Consider this: if you were Brad Pitt, or Tom
Cruise, do you think she' be holding you off from just kissing her?
Would she tell them that she needed "more time"? Of course not!
There IS a reason why this is happening.
You invite her
out, put on your big red nose and floppy shoes, entertain her for an
evening where she doesn't have anything else going on and you
probably pay for it all too! Then, she shakes your hand and goes
home with her "ego bag" filled by your attention. My brother, that
is NOT a good sign.
I know that she seems sweet and
nice and everything, but NEVER listen to what a woman says - ALWAYS
watch her actions! That says more about things than anything she'll
ever tell you.
I tell men that they should ALWAYS get
AT LEAST a good night kiss on the first date. I don't care what her
problems with the engagement were. If she were really in love with
this guy, she would have followed him to the ends of the earth. Now,
she's making YOU pay for it? Come on my brother - it's time to wake
up.
Here's my advice: first, get out and get a few
other women's numbers. Once you have some other prospects, she isn't
going to seem so important. That's not to say that she won't be your
primary interest, just that she won't be your ONLY interest. Start
dating these other women. This gives YOU the power. Then, if she
won't move ahead; the problem won't be yours (like it is now), it
will be hers.
The next time you go out with this girl,
KISS HER! What's the big deal with a kiss? Yes, you're afraid of her
rejecting you, but don't look at it like that - look at it for what
it is. You're interviewing HER to see if SHE is worth your time (and
money, etc.) If she "proves" not to be - do yourself a favor and
move on.
Good luck, much love...
|
