How to Deal With Approach Anxiety and Overcome It
Approach anxiety is that sensation you have when you're about to approach a woman, but there's this little voice in your head that stops you dead in your tracks and keeps you from walking over to her.
It's just like the feeling you had when you were a kid and you knew you were in trouble and had to go to the principle's office, or go home to your angry parents.
(Isn't it weird how your senses are all on alert when you're in an approach situation? It's almost like being in a different dimension...)
This feeling is simply known as DREAD.
You're almost completely paralyzed by your own brain, but the worst part is that you don't even really THINK anything when you're trying to just say something - anything - to her.
(I'm getting freaked out as I type this, because I'm remembering the sensation - and just how much it really SUCKS.)
Approach anxiety is something I call a "Compound Emotion." This is an emotion that is so complex and complicated that you can't figure out where it's coming from or how to deal with it.
They get all mixed up in your head, and you have no idea how to overcome it to do what your mind wants to do, but some other part of you is short-circuiting.
In fact it's so complex that I can't possibly overcome this for you in a simple newsletter, but I can give you some tips...
First, start to really monitor that feeling in your body when you get ready to approach a woman. I'll bet that you feel the same things every time, and if you can start to recognize the sensation in your body first, you'll have your first alarm that you can sense when it's about to go off.
If you can sense the feeling before it comes on, you can stop it before it paralyzes you. Just like taking some Vitamin C tablets or echinacea extract to prevent a cold that you feel coming on.
"Everything begins with AWARENESS..."
Next, start to plan how you'll get started in interactions with women. You're probably blowing yourself out because you're trying to run before you can even walk.
Your goal is just to talk with her at first, for just a minute or two. Keep it LOW anxiety.
You need a couple good openers to get you started.
One that I use quite a bit is this:
"Hey... You know, you have a really nice energy about you. I just had to come over and let you know."
Now that is fantastic for getting a woman to open up, because you're giving value to HER instead of just "pickup" lines that don't do anything but scream out "pickup artist."
I personally use that one all the time, and it has never failed to start a conversation.
(By the way, if you'd like more openers like this, please read on for the link below to my bonus article...)
Do you ever feel like you're at a loss when it comes to approaching women and getting them interested in you - romantically?
Read the next couple paragraphs carefully, because what I'm about to tell you has a DIRECT IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE...
"Women are attracted to several KEY behaviors in men..."
These are things that many guys don't know are attractive to women because it goes against what they think of as "nice."
The ideas I've just discussed in the letter above are what I consider to be essential behaviors to incorporate in your identity. These are a critical part of dating success with women.
Most guys spend no time improving their approach skills with women, and they end up chickening out when the time is right to approach a woman they're interested in. They'd rather sit back and talk about what they WOULD do, but not actually muster up the courage to go and really DO IT.
I'm going to tell you a little secret:
I used to be the same way. I remember fondly going to a bar in Kansas City (where I was living at the time) and being so desperate to meet someone that I pulled out a business card, found a woman that looked attractive, and I handed it to her saying, "Excuse me, I think you dropped this."
What chance did that have of working?
About zero. Because even if she did find it cute and endearing that I tried, it was a pitifully indirect method of expressing my interest.
And it didn't work. (If you'd like to read the whole story of my fateful and horrible approach skills back then, you can go
read about it at the link I'm going to give
you...)
"That failure was the last straw for me..."
I was fed up, and I'd had ENOUGH.
If you're like me, you know that approach anxiety doesn't get better without learning some new skills and techniques to overcome my fears. It simply will NOT get better on its own...
In fact - it usually gets MUCH WORSE over time. It's a lot like social cancer to a man's life. That sounds brutal, but it's true.
I made a decision right then that lasted me a lifetime. I decided that - do or die - I was going to learn how to approach women, how to talk to women, and how to get her interested in me.
Click here and listen to a coaching session with my student on how to
overcome the fear and nervousness before approach woman.
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