Hi !
I am currently subscribed to your newsletter. all your advice has worked so far and it really encourages me to be better in this dating game, but I need some advice on how to be less shy and quiet, so maybe you can give me some tips on how to be more of a social person and how to start conversations with out feeling shy, i know that confidence in my self is the key to this problem but i just can’t seem to get it out.
I really need some advice ?
Dan
Thanks for your question.
What you say is very true and is a very common problem with many men while dating.
Your correct in saying confidence is the key.
In relationships ladies mainly like to be shown who is boss whether they’ll agree to that or not is a different matter :-).
If your to busy trying to make them like you and showing them how caring you are they tend to lose interest.
No matter what any lady says they don’t like being the boss of the relationship all the time.
The problem is that males find it hard to adjust to being around female company.
They tend to tighten up and think more about what they shouldn’t say rather than what they should.
It’s just a matter of really saying what you want, don’t watch what you say cause that’s usually what causes the “memory blank”.
The thing when talking to a women is that usually within the first 2 minutes of meeting her she will decide whether or not she is going to talk to you.
The main thing is to walk over say hello, ask her name, and then the mistake usually follows after when men immediately give her compliments and suck up to them.
This doesn’t work, Why? Cause most women are used to this sort of approach and will just think your the same as every other guy.
Straight after the initial meeting gain eye contact, give a grin and then look away.
The reason why is, body language plays a big part in talking to a women.
Talk naturally, don’t worry about what you should or shouldn’t say and don’t fall into the trap of feeling nervous around her or even intimidated.
After a few minutes of talking to her, tell her you better get back to your friends now, go to turn and walk away, then ask her “Do you have a phone number”, if she responds with a yes, take out a pen to write it down or if you have a mobile phone enter her number into that. This is one of the most common techniques and it very rarely fails.
She will be surprised by this as she is used to men chatting her up all the time and giving her a constant never ending supply of compliments.
What you have done now is intrigued her and she is more than likely to meet up with you again.
Don’t make the mistake of contacting her the next day, maybe wait a day or two. It’s not that your playing hard to get, your just not making the same error that every other man has made.
90% of the time men are not shy they are just to worried about saying what there thinking as they think it will be an immediate rejection.
When your comfortable around women, you say what you think and at the end of the day if your rejected cause she isn’t able to listen to what you have say…… Does it really Matter ?
A lot of the time as well is when a woman is speaking to you and you don’t agree with what she has said you nod your head and agree anyway.
This is wrong ! If you don’t think she is right tell her, this helps portray your confidence to her.
Let’s her know that she isn’t fully in control.
The truth of the matter is if your in a conversation with someone and 90% of time there response is a nod of the head or maybe “Yes”, what is going to happen, that’s right your going to get bored and lose interest very quickly.
Remember if you disagree, shake your head, give a cheeky grin and then say what you think. Even if you sort of agree with what she has to say just disagree sometimes anyway. Most women you talk to will probably not be used to a conversation not going all her way.;-)
Don’t be scared to show off your confidence. For some reason men have an inner fear of doing this.
Women find confidence more attractive than looks.
It is that simple. Ask any girl and she will tell you.
Women are drawn to confidence.
Confidence creates attraction.
Attraction creates a sexual emotion.
When you approach a girl it is not about having this big long conversation about all the news of the day.
Guys have set in their head that when you approach a girl you have to talk to her for a long time before you can get her number.
That is not the case.
One: A girl will be less likely to go into a full conversation with you in a bar or mall or where ever you may be.
Two: Why ? The situation does not call for it, she could be with her friends, she could be in a rush, she could be busy.
Three: When you approach a girl throw the theory away that says you have to sit and talk to her for hours.
Four: Intrigue her, get her number and then meet her. You will then both have each others full attention.
Five: Always go somewhere fun on a first date. Go to the Mall, the beach, a theme park. Somewhere with a good fun atmosphere.
